Matt, man, dont lock the other topic.

You should have seen the convo Longtom and I had before dude. We bitched at eachother and exchanged words, then we actually calmed down, and sorted shit out, put things right, i'm not a cunt, or idiot or wreckless bastard like you or anyone else might think i am

I wouldnt hurt a fly, i'm honestly kind, nice, generous, caring a giving, but you dont give me the chance to be matt, because you treat me like im some kind of skating fag.

I've noticed it matt, you think i dont know what i'm doing.

I'm nice to people, i joke alot too which you dont get many of my jokes, my jokes have seperate meanings to what they seem ok, Think outside the square. (except "im hard")

But, I'd rather sit down for hours having a serious convo with someone then to joke, i dont like joking, its just alot of people dont like sitting down talking, not dribbling shit, just talking.

I'm glad i have friends like marks and daniel to talk to me like this. It helps, but instead of you helping me, you treat me like im dumb in the head.

I dont get it? I dont care. Just the fact that you think your better then me. your not, i'm not better then you, no ones better then you and your not better then anyone. WE ARE ALL EQUAL no one is above anyone else i dont see some homeless as being worse then any of us, he/she is still human and still has a life as much as it is, and still has feelings, feelings are everything with people man. No one takes peoples feelings into concideration with things, I feel so bad after i say do something that offended someone. I hate it, it sucks. I always apologise after things, i've apologised to Mungus for a misunderstanding when we first spoke.

I apologise to you even matt.

But everyone thinks, oh its only alan/Ph3n he's heartless hes not serious why should we be to him?

I have feelings to, and the things you say and do to me just suck and hurt man.

I dont like telling you this, I'm a really emotional person too and i dont hide anything from anyone, i dont lie and if i do i make it obvioius, if someone wants to know somehting i dont hold back, i'm an honest person if you beleive it or not. i dont care what people think of me, i just want them to know that i care.

For those of you who have actually bothered to read. Im sorry if this post has changed your views on me, and im also glad if they have, now, you see the real me, the true honest me, the me no one really gets to meet.

im going to try and not joke as much so people can actually take some things i say seriously.

So thanks for reading. Goodnight.