Thread: Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom)

Diary of a Brisbane Summer (by a Pom)

August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.


September 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.


September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.


October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


October 20th:

I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.


October 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.


October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?


November 4th:

It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.


November 8th:

If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!


November 9th:

Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.


November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.


November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my butt out of jail for assulting the repairman. Bloody Brisbane. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?


December 1st:

WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding......

seen this somewhere before.. would have been better based in darwin Brisbane is cold!

Work mate sent it to me. I figured you guys would get it An english friend of mine couldn't handle living in Perth. She'd have died in Darwin, hehe.

lol, got this one in me email the other day..

Some of it is soooo true

DARWIN

You know you're in Darwin during the build-up when:-

a.. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.

b. Hot water comes out of both taps.

c. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

d. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.

e. You discover that it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

f. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.

g. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.

h. You break out in a sweat the instant you step outside at 6:30am.

i. Your biggest bicycle crash fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

j. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.

k. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from
laying
hard-boiled eggs.

l. The trees are whistling for the dogs.

m. While walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a
tightrope
act on the white lines in the car park.

n. You catch a cold from having the air conditioner full blast while you
sleep
during the night.

o. You learn that Casuarina Shopping Square is a temple to worship
air-conditioning.

how true they are..

ROFL, they are both funny, and we all nod our heads going "yes, yes" at the Darwin ones. :p

I frist got that Diary one ... long time ago. But it was refering to Darwin at the time ... Oh well looks like the location changed.

LOL nice one Magrath

Going to copy that one and send it back

And yeah I've noticed that about emails. The stories remain the same, just the names have been changed to protect the innocent

*hugs*
Acayni

let's not forget the exact opposite diary.

never mind