Thread: Humor

After every flight, Qantas' pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on
the form, & then pilots review the gripe sheets
before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance
complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots & the solutions recorded by
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the
only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.) (S= The solution and action taken
by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitudehold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Hahahaha, I love these, I was just thinking about them the other day and couldnt think where to find them, f**king hilarious :p