Upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

[FONT=Arial]Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Girlfriend 7.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] to[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial]. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition,[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Poker Night 10.3[/FONT][FONT=Arial],[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Football 5.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial],[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Hunting and Fishing 7.5[/FONT][FONT=Arial], and[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Racing 3.6.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I can't seem to keep[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Girlfriend 7.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial], but the uninstall doesn't work on[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial]. Please help!

Thanks,[/FONT][FONT=Arial]A Troubled User.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial]______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Girlfriend 7.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] to[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial], thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] is an[/FONT][FONT=Arial]OPERATING SYSTEM[/FONT][FONT=Arial] and is designed by its Creator to run[/FONT][FONT=Arial]EVERYTHING[/FONT][FONT=Arial]!!! It is also impossible to delete[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] and to return to[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Girlfriend 7.0[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial]. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Installed!

You cannot go back to[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Girlfriend 7.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] because[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Warnings-Alimony-Child Support[/FONT][FONT=Arial]. I recommend that you keep[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application[/FONT][FONT=Arial]"Yes Dear"[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial] to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance[/FONT][FONT=Arial].[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Wife 1.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] comes with several support programs, such as[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Clean and Sweep 3.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial],[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Cook It 1.5[/FONT][FONT=Arial] and[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Do Bills 4.2[/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial].

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Nag Nag[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]9.5[/FONT][FONT=Arial]. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Flowers 2.1[/FONT][FONT=Arial] and[/FONT][FONT=Arial]Diamonds 5.0[/FONT][FONT=Arial] ![/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Arial]

WARNING!!![/FONT][FONT=Arial] DO NOT[/FONT][FONT=Arial], under any circumstances, install[/FONT][FONT=Arial][FONT=Arial]Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3[/FONT][FONT=Arial]. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will[/FONT][FONT=Arial]cause irreversible damage to the operating system.[/FONT][/FONT]

best post ever ph3n

upgrade to joke version 2.0 please, that version is at least five years out of date

Dont have to ruin it for people who havn't seen it Pala :)

Quote from paladin:
upgrade to joke version 2.0 please, that version is at least five years out of date

Yeah you websurfing ULTIMATE GEEK that has seen everything because you dont venture outside you house.

I hadnt seen that, but its piss ass funny :D

Nice post

That really IS old. I remember seeing that back when I was in primary school I think.

You know what I hate more than people posting old jokes? The people who have nothing better to reply with than "this is so old". You'll probably come to realise that you consider it old, because, well; you are.

You know what, f*ck - let me apologise on behalf of everyone who hasn't seen it before, you tossers (yes that means you, Pala). :)

i am old. girly man.

to be honest, when i saw the first line, i too had the same thoughts, this is old. but in the end i still got a laugh out of it.. so Phen thumbs up :D

When you saw the first line?

Quote from "Phen":
Dear Tech Support:

Maybe it's brought back old memories of you writing to tech support? :)

Yeah, gotta watch those grey hairs at 19 :S

sif upgrade from girlfriend to wife Bah shitty os

cool post man :) I got a laugh

Haha, this joke never fails to get a giggle out of me :p

there's another version of this joke.

basically the same structure but different "programs"

i'll see if i can dig it up

tada

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Dear Help Desk,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed
that the new program began making unexpected changes to the
accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that
had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as AFL 5.0 and
Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.
Please help!
* Desperate

Dear Desperate,
Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command:
C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install Tears 6 .2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In
summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally
recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3
-Help Desk

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Hahaha - never seen that version before :p

now it becomes funny.....

Quote from Ph3n0m3n0n:
now it becomes funny.....

It always was funny...

New version brings more laughs :D

i reckon it was entertaining...an i agree that pala should **** up!

And you are...?

Oh, and welcome to the forums, yada...yada...

thats an amazing first post utar.

*pulls up chair and esky of beer*

*puts on Richie Benaud Voice* Brilliant Debut post there. Wonderfull effort that. should be a good show.

Quote from utar:
i reckon it was entertaining...an i agree that pala should **** up!

Haha, best first post ever!!! :p

I've never heard the boyfriend version before. Maybe it's because I'm a guy, I like girlfriend one better though. I forget to mention earlier, that while I've heard it multiple times, it gets a laugh still. It's one of those jokes you can't really TELL people though.

Yeah, it's not a wise idea to really say something like that too early into your forum life. Although everyone is entitled to their opinion... except people under 15. It all comes down to whether Paladin takes offense or not...