can we get a jokes channel??? I LURVE jokes!
A slightly built gent enters the bar of his local saloon( an American western type ). As he enters, he does not watch where he is going, and inevitably steps on the stray dog turd that a dog that had just been shoo'd from the bar moments earlier had gladly left. The slightly built man curses gently and shakes his leg and sits and orders a beer. Immediately after taking a sip of his beer, a large, bulky fellow enters (one that you would not like to mess with), and like clockwork, steps in the exact same spot the slightly built fellow had just stepped on. The huge man becomes enraged immediately. Trying to hold in his beer and not to laugh, the slightly built man says " Hey! I Just Did That !" The Huge man's face turns to extreme anger and disgust, and punches the little man in the face, rendering him unconcious.
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Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane and as such
have gone for a holiday back to the place where they first
met. While sitting at a cafe the little old man says, "Remember
the first time I met you over fifty years ago? We left this cafe, went
round the corner behind the gas works and I gave you one from behind."
Why, yes remember it well dear." replies the little old lady with
a grin.
Well, for old time's sake, lets go there again and I'll give you
one from behind."
The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man
sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows the pensioners. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady
pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress. The old man pulls down his
pants and grabs the lady's hips. The little old lady then reaches for the
fence.
Well, what follows is forty minutes of the most athletic sex the
man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the
little old woman at a pace that can only be described as
phenomenal.
Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not
stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.
Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything
that equates to this, not in the movies, not from his friends, not from
his own experiences. Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to
himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let
alone in fifty years time!"
Two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed
themselves.
Plucking up courage the man approaches the pensioner. He says,
"Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly
at your age. What's your secret, could you shag like that fifty years ago?"
The pensioner replies, "Son, fifty years ago that fucking fence
wasn't electrified."