Eaters bar is back, feel free to drop by......

The dark clouds of madness spilled like rushing waters to cover the sky in all that is evil, and the time of rekoning came unto being. Its taloned arms held aloft in ancient pledge, the Eater stood amidst the turmoil of misery and cried unto the wind

"Gather O mighty forces and come unto Eater, gather so that i may look upon thee with pride once again." Arcane forces of mightiness raged around the scaled form, but It stood resolute.

"I Lord Eater of Souls do summon thee unto my presence. From farthest depths to the high heavens themselves, I shall call thine names till the very name drags you forth, HEED MY CALL!!" Again miriad forces of untold power smashed against the form of Eater, but all for nothing. It mearly hunched Its form and gathered Its Will, shaping it to the desired summoning of ancients pledge. Gradually the storms of mad gods at play began to subside and loose ryhtmn, gradually it calmed.

In the calmness of the minds peace, misty forms of power gathered slowly but steadily to form. The lost and fallen brethren of Eater had returned at last, returned to the land of North. The Eater with arms still aloft suddenly plunged them downwards and into the World Stone surface, a mere grunt is all that is uttered as they spear deep into it. Spitting and hissing the Words of Great Summoning, Eater spoke in ancient Gods toungue harshly to the surface between its massive arms.

A crack appeared in the World Stone surface, several in fact, that raced away with frightning speed in many directions. The cracks took on an even split and form began to take shape, slowly risng from the ground, the summoning spell was of massive proportion. Great walls shot skyward and began to enclose all in a massive enclosure split only by a nine foot gap on one side, with swinging doors of World Stone. Chairs and tables formed themselves from the nigh on indestructible stone and a massive bottleshelf that stretched upwards to the heavens shot up from behind Eater. Grinning its sly fang filled smile, Eater removed its hands from the floor and sealed it with a wave. As it strode forward an epic bar sprang from the floor in silent fluid making, Eaters bar, the only bar.

So fellas, come in grab a stool, and tell me a story. Eater likes stories, and for each good story i shall reward thee with a personnaly named drink of mystical power the likes of wich shall not be found this side of Eternity. But please do not distrub the Eater lest its wrath smite thee all. Its in Flame wars due to the flexibility i want, but dont push it eh

With your imagination my son

like say its a typical order

flamming Eater, a Bloody Fairy, and a 3-Finger shot of Wild-Turkey plus a Coke for my Sober Bob Who's should be commin in soon to drag my drunken ass away...

then i would respond

Mighty tall order their son? You quite sure you want it?
Yes? Well then

With deft precision and care the Eater thrashes around again behind the bar and produces a bottle of Wild Turkey. Carefully snapping of a three finger shot into a medium vegemite jar, Eater slams the bottle down upon the polished counter in front of Mr Numba. Summoning Great Powers to be the Eater gestures mystically with arms to flexible for a human. Shimmering with ethereal light a small portal springs into existence and through floats a beautiful creature on gossamer wings. Gasping at its eternal beauty the bar falls silent as a whole to gaze upon a tiny goddess.
Eater, being completely immune to beauty, snatches the fairy from the air and slams it in the blender. Ignoring the tiny hands beating on the glass, EOS switches the dial to Frappe and hits the go button. Hissing and snapping the blender immediately converts the Tiny Goddess to a red puree. Decanting the now freshly made drink into a margarita glass, Eater arranges the tiny wings in a smiley face on top and slides it down to the Wing Wong.
Not stopping for even an instant Eater grabs a large vegemite glass from the lower shelf and Urinates freely into it, slams it on the counter, and lights it. Pale green flames immediately leap from the clear liquid and begin to spark and flash.

Three fingered WT
A freshly mad BF
And a Flaming Eater
And we don’t server "Soft" drinks here my Son

That will be 4 souls a marble and half a tik-tak thankyou sir.....

On evening the almighty Knightox was out drinking with his friends. The event and location escape my brain at the moment. Anyways I was fairly drunk and returned to my dwelling. As I do I enter my room and check my icq/msn for messages. Then it was time for bed. So I got up and turned to my bed. After a few seconds of pondering I shock my head and rubbed my eyeballs. My bed was not present. This spun my brain as my bed takes up a third of my room. So I though ok it must be hiding. I proceeded to search for my missing bed, looking under the stuff on my floor and under my washing. After a few minutes or searching I went outside to see mom and told her the story. She looked at me and shook her head and said something like this “you are a fuckhead” so there was nothing I could do but fall asleep on my floor.
Awaking in the morning to find my bed where it should be and most likely always was.

The Form of Aravi Falin shakes with laughter at the folly of the new blood. If only they could have seen the original, an example that hopefully this new bar can rise to.

That Wraith-remover may not have been all it took to clean out the Wraith, but eventually it was banished. The force Solfyre layed it waste in conflict but in time itself became as corrupt as its former foe, becoming known as the Besieger. Lessons of the past be learned however, it did not get to gain the same hold as it's predecessor.

From the shadows came a new force, and proved that in Solfyre's corruption there is weakness. It was not battle that turned the tide, Solfyre was denied the option to fight and was banished to the periphery by means of sorcery, where it will slowly wither and die away.

The age of Falin has been welcomed in, and I for one celebrate it. May I have a drink to aid my celebration?

Gathering Its immortal energies together, Eater begins the making...

Selecting from behind him on the prodigous shelf multiple ingredients and vials, The Dark Barman began to assemble on the bartop an array of deadly brews and potions to scare even hardened criminals to tears. Grasping and uncorking a fresh bottle of Wild Turkey Rare Breed, and with hands that never even looked close to fumbling a drop of precious liquid, Eaters talons deftly pour a full measure down its throat.

Bah thats better and now to work

Snapping the lid from a crystal vial, the first ingrediant tumbled into the blender that rose noiselessly from the bartop, a small blue fairy. The sylph like form fluttered and sought escape, but its wings were singed and helpless. Not even pausing for a thought of kindness the claws dropped in further ingredients, formic acids, shaved mice shins and with head turned slightly from the power, a single isotope of Unobtanium.
Slaming the lid on the Blender and pushing the button in a practised move Eater began to make a drink for Lord Astaroth.
With hands either side of the blender in a ritual like pose Eater poured its Will unto the mixing vessel.

Dark flames sprang along edges of the container, frost formed on its base and the shrill sound of the dying Fairy echoed through the bar. Rapidly resizing a Crystal Cup of Perfect Measure to the fist sized mug, Eater ceased its power and sprang the lid on the blender. On reformed wings of pure light, the fairy shot from the opening of the blender and made a swift dash for freedom via the swinging doors. Before any patron could move, a shining cleaver swung down with brutal force and spilt the Light Child in neat halves. Swiftly catching each half in the Cup, as It sheathed the cleaver behind it once more, the body of the Fairy disolved into motes of dancing light, seeking exit but unable to leave the Cup. Sliding this draft of power down to Lord Astaroth, the Eater grumbled

For thee. A special drink, Atomic Fairy Nailer, just for thee. May it make your heated days seem as cool as ice when you return to the jungles....

Ahh stories of drunken nights and bed mishaps. I was slobbering drunk one night when I rocked up at my girlfriends place to find she was out for the night. Being a friend of her brothers I was welcomed in and offered a few more beverages of which I needed none but took anyway. Unable to drive myself home I was offered my girlfriends bed and by the time I took to it my stomach was flip flopping left right and center. Realising I could not go the night with out vomiting I went thru in my head how to make my way to the toilet.

get out of bed
turn 90 degrees right
walk 6 ft
turn 90 right again
walk 10 ft forwar
turn 90 left
walk 5 ft and vomit.

Well time went and and the drink bubbled and so I had to make this journey with all the lights in the house out. So make it I did and retracing my steps I found the comfort of the bed again only to sleep soundly for the remainder of the night (ahhh the wonders of a good chuck).

When I woke up the following morning, to my dismay, I found the room stunk of a wholey wretched odour it was then I realised my mistake!! Earlier the previous day my gf had rearranged her room and what my carefally laid out directions had done was lead me directly to her wardrobe where I had thrown up in her stuffed toys and shoe collection.

It is not fun to spend a hangover cleaning puke out of fur and shoes :( needless to say she is no longer providing me with the pleasure of her company.

Well I am one to drown my sorrows in a glass and eater is known to make the most hellish drinks so once again I find myself at his and his glasses mercy. Eater I fear after this tale one concoction may not suffice.

Grabbing the evil brew I tilt back my head (secretly wishing the lords to bless me with a flip top lid) and quickly consume the alcoholic goodness. A warm sensation floods out immediately from my stomach consuming my entire body. Seconds later thought its heat withdraws back untill it is non-existant. I realise upon its withdraw it has also consumed the excess heat lingering in my limbs leaving me cool and refreshed.

Ahhh that surely hits the spot but it is not a small spot and will be requiring mush to quell the bitter memory of not the drunken revelry but the cleaning of the mess :(

*Pointing to a rather dusty bottle that has a pearish shape. Beneath the dust can vaguely be made out a colour that faintly reminds of a summer sunset*

Master Eater that bottle upon the shelf it is covered in dust yet some how I feel compelled to enquire as to what it contains with in. And if it is available for public consumption I believe I would enjoy a shot or two of its contents.

hrmm fantasy role playing is it... well for the sake of role playing I'll pretend I am old enough to drink :P....

The stranger staggered through the barren wasteland, surrounded by the fierce tempest that raged all around. Sheathed at his side, his mighty longsword, forged by the heat of a dragons breath and made of the finest mythril. From a distance he looked squat and plump but as you drew nearer you could tell that he had fought many a battle. His left arm was home to many battle scars and his face contorted up into a pained expression. He had suffered a great loss in life and was forced to roam this deserted wasteland a lonely bedraggled vagabond. He trudged onwards through the hard, wet landscape that was common in this part of the worldstone. He was searching for something. His eyes blazed with intent as he plodded steadily on. He stopped for a moment and drew in his surroundings. There was a flash of light from above and within a blink of an eye the stranger had his blade out. He lifted his longsword high into the air and let forth a tremendous battlecry. The heavens tossed and turned and lightning struck the sword where he stood. He allowed the lightning to infuse every inch of his body and basked in the faucet of immense power. Time froze as the stranger frolicked in the energy of nature’s power source. Within seconds the event was over and the stranger was brought to his knees. He was replenished, but his senses were disorientated in the power up. He regained himself quickly and sheathed his mystical sword. He then sped up to a sprint and within minutes he had reached his target. There it was, in all its glory. Eater’s bar. A thin smile slowly spread across his face.

A dark stranger burst through the dusty Tavern doors with a gleam in his eye. Fingers itchy for the trigger, his eyes dart left, then right, securing the room and freezing all those who dare look into his gaze.

The strong midday sun at the strangers back cast a sillhouette onto the bar and its occupants, indeed if one were so inclined to notice the small things in life, they would have noted that the almighty Eater basked in his own light. The source? Well..thats a story for another day.

The stranger uneasily entered the bar, walking cautiously as his glowing spurrs clinked to the tune of danger. Many whispers started passing. Who was this man? What was his purpose? Was he here for bounty? A stranger passing through? Or did he seek that which cannot be found?
As time did tell, it turned out he was indeed, seeking the latter.

There he stood, in the middle of the darkened keep. His ciggerrette hanging from one corner of his mouth, oozing the sweet, sticky odour of death. He wore pure black boots that seemed to reflect even the dimmest of light with ease. A snicker could be heard as the rumour spread that this was for "looking up the dress of a young maiden". But this of course, was mere rumour, nothing more....or was it?.

The room grew uneasy as did the horses tethered to the rink outside. Almost as if there was a cloud of wanton destruction approaching, electrifying the air and causing the fear of mortals to become as an odour to the strong.

The stranger moved deftly to the bar, removing a worn patron from his place at the bar, in one swoop of his mighty fore-arm, sending him crashing to the ground. The peace-keepers swiftly threw him into the muddy ground that lay outside the tavern doors.

"BAR KEEP!", the stranger bellowed, "Give me your finest ale and do not be shy with the frothy head, as i have been told by wisemen that the breath of angels does create it". The bar keep remained in the corner, appearing to be deaf to the strangers demands, as he polished, shined and ordered his mystical ingrediants.

The Bar keeper turned to face the stranger in his own time, no expression, no emotion about him. "Who are you and what do you seek?" asked the Bar Keep. "I seek that which cannot be found" replied the stranger. "Do tell good sir, for if it cannot be found, then surely i cannot be expected to find it amongst my wares, yes?".

The stranger remained at his stool, peering at the Bar Keep. "I dont expect you to remember, as it seems an eon ago to the day good friend. But i have travelled many a mile and my bones have been touched by many a season. I have returned here to claim upon an oath given to me by the almight Eater". The Bar Keep took a step forward into the light being shone down onto the bar by a candle lantern, swinging over head. "I see your face good sir, but nothing amongst those wrinkles and scars do i recognise".

The stranger also leant forward.

"Ha! You always were a blind old bastard! It is me! MILENKO!". The Bar Keep's eyes widened and a cracked smile appeared breifly on the Bar Keep's face. "Well old friend, it has indeed been many moons since you have last graced my bar with your presence. Please, allow me to give you that which was promised'.

And with that, the Bark Keep did hand the stranger a pitcher of Ale.
"Ahh yes!" bellowed the stranger, as he looked into the bottom of his drink. "That which cannot be found friend, is the bottom of my pitcher. Although the Gods do know, i will try my hardest to find it".

The stranger took a mighty gulp of the brew, his body appearing to become rejuvinated by its ethereal ingrediant. "Now thats what i call an ale" the stranger said, as he slammed his pitcher onto the bar, his body still jerking from the drinks effects.

With that, the bar returned to normal as the patrons retook their position and continued drinking their ale of heaven sent.

"Its good to see you again.....old friend".

A lone girl stared at the scattered remains of those who had tried to attempt the almighty legend of 'Eaters Bar'

Smiling to herself an evil yet common grin she begins the journey herself. Stopping only momentarily to take the bursting wallets of her incapacitated friends.

She fights a dragon with teeth made of gold, escapes the wrath of the earth as the ground beneath her collapses into a pool of molten lava. The sirens scream her name taunting her with half naked visions of the most beautiful men alive. It has been three weeks and still she stumbles her goal seeming faint in the distance.

She comes to the end of a gaping chasm where boulders randomly fell missing her by inches and one man sits in a chair. His eyes are closed and the faint sounds of rumbling can be heard from deep in his chest.

She stares at the figure, she knows him. She knows this place it is what she has been searching for.

"Little Fucker is asleep" She screams out to no one before reaching into the Eaters pocket and withdrawing the beaten wallet he called his own.

"it's not even 11p.m"

She cries softly and begins the journey home.

The observant eyes of Aravi Falin observe the slight by which she steals the bartenders wallet. Hoping to earn the barkeeps favour and perhaps a drink or two, he moves with a trained swiftness to quickly recapture the wallet before Sper0 can pocket it herself, returning it to the lap of the Eater.

He then proceeds to stand in the path of Sper0 so that she may not reclaim it.

'You stand against me?'

"She who has fought the legendary giant Tn1 in the west coming back with the favour of the kings and a little more education.

She who snuffed out the elusive snake Ebola Virus and ate his children for an entree.

She who entered hell itself and battled Harbinger the almight bringer of misfourtune coming out with his brains in a jar (i'll show you sometime if I can find them they are kinda small)

You, the skinny little excuse for a warrior you are stand against my might. My power."

She laughs and spits in his face.

"Do not mock me child"

A slight smirk appears on Aravi's face as he chuckles at Sper0s tales. He notes that Zim has taught her well, or at least as well as Zim could.

He continues to stand in her path, amused by her ramblings.

A loud voice thunders from across the room 'Spero'

He watched her whirl around, short hair glowing in the wind.

"but ... your dead' She exclaimed a note of fear in her voice. He knew she was remembering the last time they fought. The last time they met.

'you used me' He was mad, a rotting human carcass in mockery of a club swung loosely from his fingertips. 'you pretended to love me'

She smiled that evil grin once again and twirled a finger in her hair.

'I'm female. You should have known that'

Females had to die. She had defiled the lair of the sacred eater with her female wilies. was nothing sacred from her horrible wrath?

He took a step forward, and she took a step back...

Aravi casts a quick glance to the bartender, while he had interceded to prevent the theft he has preference that no violence takes place.

Noting the form of Eater still asleep, he shakes him once to aid him in awakening then steps back and removes two glass beads from his pocket.

Quietly he repeats the incantation and his hand motions are small and partially hidden by the robes. By his magic he summons an invisible barrier separating the combatants, it's existence unknown to all but him.

or so he thinks.

What he doesn't know whilst being incredibly beautiful and a skilled warrior Spero was also trained in the black arts. All women of the Amazon tribe were.

She ignores the feild much to Aravis dismay and flings herself at tn1. He dodges her lightly showing much speed for a giant.

'Remember that night we had on the cliffs overlooking the pasture' She winks at him trying to make him lose concentration.

However this time he is wise to her and retaliates.
'no sorry mustn't have been that good to feature'

He was lying he could STOP thinking about it.

She had that effect.

'oh Aravi' She yelled over at the pathetic attempt for a mighty wizard who sat in the feet of Eater his eyes rolling back into his skull as he scratched his balls.

'your mum says she wants you home for dinner and your grounded for a week'

it was his turn to cry

The stranger remained at his pedastal, quietly drinking his magical brew, while he watched the zoo of animals bicker around him. His six shooter still within easy reach, although hidden to the naked eye.

A few brews under his belt, perhaps. But he could still nail a playing card at a thousand paces.

Standing out on the street in front of the infamous Eater Bar and Gill lani could hear the commotion coming from inside. She had just returned from a great adventure in the East where she had been engaged for the last few months, and was in need of a short break and the infamous hospitality that lord Eater did supply.

Bracing herself lani pushed the door open as looked at the scene before her. The giant tn1 was braced for battle with the Amazonian spero who was charging him with great force. The magician Aravi was looking stunned as if one of his spells had just been forcibly broken and he had yet to recover. There were tell-tail signs of shadows moving in the back of the bar, all were waiting to see what happened and to join in if they felt like a fight.

Sighing, lani walked around the combat and up to the bar. It was just another night in Lord Eaters bar, and she was yet to even have a drink.

Unable to stand the chaos any longer, a portion of shadow detatches itself from the darkness, spreading ethereal tendrils throughout the bar.

The patrons freeze in mute horror as the ice cold blackness wafts around their feet, and a voice like the screaming of countless tortured souls sounds in their minds, obliterating all other thought, 'Enough! Save the fighting for another time, and revel that this day you have been allowed to live'.

The spreading darkness vanishes, leaving but a memory of terror, and that last, lingering thought.

"Bar Keep, a brew for our newest traveller, Lani", Milenko did say. "Put the cost of coin onto my tab, i have many more gold pieces than in the old day. Its amazing how much dragons store in their cave's for their young welps to play with".

Bemused spero takes a seat at the bar looking at eater hoping he awakes soon.

'Ahh yes Milenko, how is your hiney after that mean old dragon burned you'

He blushes.

She passes the coins under the bench to his outstretched arm.

'You know i'll always save your ass babe' She says with a manaic grin
'that ol dragon wont hurt you anymore'

She waves her hand at the new arrival, paladin.

'waiter - drink please'

peering quietly over the top of her worn old paperback, Lilu watches the happenings of this most famous bar with quiet speculation. such strange beings be these, the fuss and commotion confusing her slightly as she recalls but weeks before of gatherings in other lands full of warmth of heart and warmth of company.
she blinks slowly, not moving, preferring the solitude and saftey of the shadows. willing his comforting arms to circle around her, to blend her furthur into the background.
she makes silent bets to herself, on who will be triumphant this night, not daring to think them too loudly for fear of being noticed. she closes her eyes, calling to the darkness. it grows around her, filling her small corner, and she is consumed by the night time shadows.

"BAH!" Milenko shouted in response to SperO's version of the Dragon slaying. "I was merely attracting the dragons attention, to allow you to sneak up behind and put a dagger in its throat! Only theives and rogues are indeed that silent, as to sneak up on a Dragon. Where did you learn such skill?".

The bar seemed to have quiet down a bit at this stage, after the noise and comotion that ensued after SperO's entrace.

"Always were one for a crowd, eh SperO?"

Milenko winked and went back about his business, drinking his frothy brew.

...meanwhile ruin twiddles his nose, cleans his whiskers and scurries between all the feet and claws for another piece of cheese.

Unbeknownst to Sper0, Aravi had a trick she knew not of. As she was committing her magical powers to thwart his spell, he had absorbed the backlash and was slowly turning the magic to his own ends.

Suddenly, with a mighty crash, a wave of force lashes back and Sper0's own magic, now out of her control, lashes into her and knocks her into the wall. Aravi swiftly follows up with a blast of ice to freeze Sper0 in her place.

"Have more control of your own magic", he mutters. He keeps a watchful eye on tn1, still intending to prevent further violence.

bit late im drinking with milenko thats my decoy

Aravi swiftly defrosts Sper0, he was focussed on his counterspell while casting it and as such the follow up may have been launched late.

He moves over and takes a stool, awaiting the awakening of Eater.

/me looks over to the beasty looking Eater, ... "wheres my drink biatch"...

...and with a mighty clap of thunder the Eaters mind snapped back into Its scaled form, the bottles shed thier dust and rattled together for comfort at the Dark Barmans presence....

"And with a summon like that who could refuse, the Dark Barman has returned."

Spinning swiftly and darting to the right, Eaters claw snapped out and retrieved the pear shaped bottle swiftly from the shelf before it could retreat back into the shadows.

"Tis rare to find one such as this venturing so Low down on the shelves" Uncorking the bottle in practised motion the Eater swept wide its massive arms and sloshed the liquid free into the air. In a continous motion of travel the Eater bought the Apocalypse Cleaver slashing to and fro throught the entire length of the trail of fluid as if in mad frenzy.
Gathering Swift Will, Eater sprang at the bar as time itself slowed to a slow crawl, the minor summon already spat through clenched fangs began to take shape. Sevaral spinning points of light scatered from its outstretched talon and sped burning into the World Stone bars smooth surface, coming to a rest just underneth it. Instantly several Crystal Cups of Perfect Measure shot outwards towards Eaters outstretched talons. Bring Its mighty will to bear upon the spinning vessels, Eater focused the final part of the spell to its perfect completion. Turning back to the slowly aproaching disected streams of purest alcohol, the Dark Barman flung up its arm and sent the spining cups streaking out towards them in precision marksmanship. As Father Time regathered its lost children ten spinng glasses came to rest smoothly and with not a spilt drop on the shining bar top.

"DRINKS ARE ON ME !! It feels good to see the Patrons of Eaters bar once again!"

Not stopping for the stunned reply from its customers, Eater lept in crazed fury around its bar claiming many drinks from the shelves and dishing them out in hastend form to its customers

"A Dyslexic Albanian Frog Frother for Milenko to wash that Ale down, there you go son. And what have i got for you Spero my little girl, oh my its a rasperry cordial there you go,dont drink to fast you will freeze up, it is from the frozen hell of Caina. Aravi, once again trifling my bar with your underlearnt spells of Ill Repute, for you i have something from your past"

Eaters great shoulders hunched together as Its mighty hands clapped together with a peal of newborn thunder. Foul and dark twisted words of ancient power crawled and oozed from EOS's maw, Its hands working feverishly. The patrons as one step back from the bar, eyes watching the act closely and with no small amount of fear. Dark ichor began to drip slowly from Eaters claws, smoking and sputtering into a puddle forming around Its cloven feet.
Grunting with exertion The Eater Of Souls began to slowly draw its claws apart. A sound, more than a sound a feeling, began to emenate like a keening wind from the invocation at hand. Suspended between Eaters quivering palms was a dark ball of nothingness so absolute as to cause madness to those staring at it for too long.

"Not sure how long i can hold this one back Aravi, going to have to finish quick."

Faster than the swiftest lightning strike, Eater draws and strikes with the large cleaver swinging from Its belt, sinkng deep into the coiled darkness it had summoned. A screeching rising scream ripped forth from the Summoned as it fought against the Apocalypse Blade but to no avail. With a sound like ripping cloth the dark ball split up the middle and peeled back to reveal what it was protecting. Bright white light sprang from the newly born Anatarthian as it fought to escape its fate already at hand. Moving the blade with skill and precision born of necessity, Eater eviscerated the Anti-Wraith down to base organs. Grasping the giblets in one claw and dropping the fading carcass to the floor Eater began the final stages of making a Wraith Remover.
Drawing upon the might of Ages and the power of the Damned, Eater began to squeeze with a strength capable of moving mountains. Slowly with time slowed numbness, pure white crystals began to drop into Its other hand one by one. With a simple incantation of Lower Order, a cup of fresh hot black Mountain Coffee sprang into being on the bartop. Carefully, Eater tipped its scaled claw over and dropped the crystals into the murky black depths and slid the steaming cup over to Aravi

"Milk with that again, my son?"

Ripping the flimsy lid from a Darken Brew, Eater slid it effortlessy along the bartop, to halt with accuracy as TN1's massive hands fell down to stop it. Pausing only to wipe the small beads of obsidian the had begun to crystalise on its brow, Eater continued it Massive Task.
Gathering will and arcane magic, Eater began a summon that instantly began to sear and tear at the seams of space/time. Bring forth the Blade once more, Eater slashed with precision and care, stripping away a length of it. Barking a Sealing command onto the tear, Eater turned and began to fold the squirming force it held tightly it its grip, Its fur begining to stand on end. With a final touch the Eater presented its work to Lani and added it to Milenkos already enlarged tab of account.

"There you are, a Two Dimensional Glass of Eight Dimension Pleasure, a work of uniqueness"

Its work complete, the Dark Barman leaned back heavily on its tail and sipped a Molten Cadavre, fresh from the safe beneath the bar.

"Its good to see all these people interested in my humble Bar" it rumbled quietly to itself

As the mist of dawn falls down upon the mud hut, and the moon fights in vain to cast a shadow across the cobblestone path. A cloaked man makes his way past the rusty gates, with each laboured stride he comes closer to the place he had left many moons ago.

He can see the light escaping the window through the murky mist, and knows his journey is all but over. In his minds eye, he recalls when last he vertured into the bar of the Eater. He hath not forgotton his promise, and has returned with a brace of Orc skulls to apease the Master of Beverages.

The door opens with a lazy groan as faces swing to meet his eyes, but is hidden beneath his hood. Silence has now filled the once rowdy room, all that is heard is the thump of his boots on the old wooden floor as he makes to the bar.

"Hey!!" says one foolish lad. "The sign says NO GUNS ALLOWED.!!"

Within the blink of an eye, the stranger swings his long gun from his shoulder straight to the face of this foolish boy. A "Click" is heard as the safety is thumbed off.

The lad pleeds for his life, whining like a girl. The stranger feels some pity for this shell of a man, and shoulders his weapon. He draws the hood from his face for all to see. "Lord Monkey." is murmured on the lips of all present.

"Master Eater. I have returned from my quest as I fortold you years ago." said he.

"Take these skulls as hommage paid to your enduring friendship and know this. I have punished the Orc race for their crimes against my poeple and your own people."

"Thou shall poor me a tankard of your finest fire water for I am weary and I have had my fill of blood as it weighs heavy on my soul."

He raises the hand and shakes the hairy paw of the Master, they both nod and aknowledge that far too much time has past since they last met.

From the top shelf he takes an old yellowish bottle and poors the clear liquid to the brim of his mug.

With the swift arm movement Lord Monkey grasps the tankard and downs it in one gulp. Calm returns to his battle weary face and the bar returned to a comforting murmur.

"It's good to be back old friend." says Lord Monkey "Now let's git pissed!!"

:twisted:

The stranger looked upon the awesome sight of the bar, basking in its honourable glory. He had watched many a traveller walk through those mighty doors and he was yet to walk through himself. There was much folly and uproar emanating from within the fabled establishment and with this being his first travel to such a place, he was anxious of what he would find. He took a moment to compose himself before donning his ragged cloak, cautious to hide his sheathed sword. He threw his tattered hood over his head and trudged forward, towards the pearly gates of drunkenness.

The heavens opened up and brought forth rain from the surrounding tempest. Rain pelted down on his rugged form as he continued onwards toward an adventurer’s most favoured resting place. He strode up to the doors and pushed them open violently, hoping to catch the attention of his fellow adventurers.

He stood there, waiting for a response as his war-torn cloak dripped water all over the hardwood floor. Onlookers stopped in mid-action and stared at this newcomer. Who was he? Where did he come from? A sudden wave of murmur filled the bar as they watched the outsider pull up a stool at the bar. He removed his hood slowly and ruffled his wet hair, shaking all of the excess water from his black spiky locks. The newcomer’s attention then turned to the Dark Barman, who slowly approached the counter where he sat.

The Barman spoke with a voice that rolled like thunder “What be your name, newcomer?” The stranger looked over the scaly form of the legendary Dark Barman and soaked in the alcoholic atmosphere. He paused for what seemed like an eternity before responding in a rasped, yet clearly audible voice. “Leonami…”

Eyeing the the Wraith remover as it sits before him, Aravi pauses for a moment before taking a swig of the elixir. He can feel it within, doing its work and washing the remnants and shards not yet purged into the past.

He finishes the rest of the brew and gives the barman his compliments, 'A strong brew my friend, capable of washing ones soul clean'.

He places the empty glass on the table and contemplates what he shall drink next. Something for the future perhaps.

An Eldrich storm boomed outside, crashing with the thunder of gods, howling winds swirled at the bar, buffeting the gathered at the bar.

peircing the brimstone gloom, a light glimmered, and bloomed. Focusing on the light coalescing in his hands, a figure stood, poised at the entrance.

A deep, booming voice, that resonates around the hall comes from this figure, as he takes his attention apon those at the bar.

"I hear the drinks here are good. i just hope the price is, too"

closing his fist, the light glimmers, then dies. Standing to his full height, he strides forth, and pulls up to a stool at the bar.

"A glass of your finest... Coke.... Straight"

a gasp rose from the onlookers. murmurs rose from them.

"I WILL not taint my coke with...." he pauses, showing his distaste "burbon"

Chuckling again, Eater spins the lid from a fresh bottle of Roger RamShytes Raging Rum and adds it with great verocity and much sloshing to a medium sized vegemite glass and sends it hurtling down the bar at Leonami

"Drink this my son, and the world will become more clear and focused for a brief period"

Chanting the chant of unmaking, the hulking shape of EOS unformed a granite block that it had produced from the folds of its cloak. With a flourish,Eater held a Crystal Cup of Perfect Measure under its claw, as the dark matter of Uncreation slithered from Its hand. Catching the squirming filth easily, it now began a series of short sharp barked commands at the liquid, wich bubbled quickly in repsonse. Dropping a slight pinch of sulphur and the scale of a hatchling black Dragonel into the frothing mass, Eater slowed the spell to its whispered finality. Placing the bubling black acidic drink before Warlock, Eater paused only briefly to say

"Soft cock"

And continued to fix the last drink of the round for Aravi.

Reaching under the counter the Dark Barman drew forth a mirror of unmatched clarity and smashed it on the bar top. Ignoring the treachorous edges it pushed the glittering shards together in a small pile and tensed for a great spell. Gathering its will the Eater began to chant the words of ancient power, known only to those long dead or long now joined the ranks of the insane. Small flicks of lightning began to leap from Eaters taloned hands, the arcs racing up both its arms, palms held over the pile of crystal shards and sclaed legs braced in a powerful stance. Pushing the boundaries of known physics aside, Eater set about its task to creat a drink worthy of the future.
Shaping the spell both forward and backward in time, the Summoner gasped as the complex spell sought to leap from its control. Shoulders tensed in effort, Eater lowered its claws and scooped up the pile in a single swipe. The now liquefied mirror began to flow and run upwards in a perfect sphere, its rippling surface reflecting everything in perefect clarity. Eater concetrated again as it flipped the lid on the blender and dumped the scintillating sphere into it, and turned to the array of bottles behind it on the shelves. Selecting several Mid shelf ingredients and a few low ones, Eater turned back to the blender. By now the sphere was aware of it fate and began to deform in the blender,flatting out, seeking escape. Pouring in an extract of Shadows Shadow and a liberal sprinkling of Lich's Tears, a light splash of Ogres breath and a drop of carnosaur blood, the cocktail began to gain colour and mass. With newfound purpose and strength the multicoloured mass shot up the sides of the Blender and made its final dash for freedom. Denying this feeble attempt with flick of the lid, the Dark Barman selected "atomise" on the dial and reduced the concoction to a thin mist. Gently wafting the light fluid into a CCOPM, resized to stein proportions, Eater presented the drink to Aravi with a steady sure hand.
Gazing into its depths, Aravi became light headed as the myriad of flashing images from all facets of his life screamed past his eyes in a blinding blur. Soon the vision was even past his entrance to the bar and the very making of the drink. Suddenly the mist began to brighten with unbearable light and the CCOPM began to tremble in his hand.

"Id drink it now my son, this Felps Flashing Comeback, and see what the future holds for thee in the bottom of its depths."

Sitting back again on its tail Eater watched the perplexed young man continue to gaze at wonder it held in its hands.

Joke time, The barman likes jokes and rewards each with a drink :)

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

Never underestimate the cunning powers of your mother......

Leonami caught the glass of the mighty barman. It was bubbling with as much life and energy as the tempest outside. He downed the glass in one drink and within seconds he could feel his insides churning at the fierce drink, imbued with the power of the Dark Barman. This was truly a spectacular drink. He took a moment to recover from the ferocity of such a substance before clearing his throat and adding his joke to the collection...

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.” The third guy says, “I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.”
Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, “What are you guys talking about?'
“Just about how good our sons are doing,” the three men replied. “Well, my son is doing very well,” says the fourth man, “He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.”

For a long time now a dark figure had been observing the tavern from afar. It had aroused his curiosity, many a different folk had entered since he began watching.

But was not sure what to make of what seemed to be a normal tavern from the outside, he had heard mighty roars of giants, battle sreams of amazons, cracks of lighting, pure silence, and strangly enough, laughter inside.

He was unsure of how they would react to a newcomer as he was not from around these parts. He had traveked for uncountable days and nights to come to this place of legends yet he was yet to see anything special. 'the truth must lie within' he decided and gathered the courage to enter this place of legends.

Now with his momentary burst of courage he strode boldly up to the door. raising hi chin and puffing out his chest he reached for the intricate handle on the doors and entered.

you could have heard, not a pin, but a single particle of dust drop in the ensuing silence, how could the laughter of many change to this in an instant he did not know

"hi, im Sh|thousE"

he said meekly, his courage lost under the glare of many eyes, well what can best be desribed as eyes at the least.

the eyes continued staring, trying to comprehend how the hell this stanger just managed to pronounce a capital on the end of his name and a | in the middle. there must be more to this one then is on the surface they realised.

in a effort to break the silence and lighten the mood the one called Sh|thousE spoke

"two seals walked into a club..."

Milenko, who was still at his position near the bar (much like a piece of furniture) roared in laughter.

"A name such as that can only come from one of two people. The first, is the people of the west. Mystic and rather superstitious people, rather backwards in their custom. The second, from the north hills of Widow Peak. I have not time for people of the West as they dislike my methods of negotiation. Let us hope you are from the North".

The traveller rolled up his right hand sleeve, the material of which seemed luminescent in the bar's gloom. On his upper arm were tattoo'd runes. They looked somewhat like the symbol [ROT].

"Ahhhh! A member of the clan of ROT, fierce mountain warriors! At long last, i have met another of my disbanded brethren! Come traveller, sit by my side and share with me tales of your journey's" Milenko said, as he polished his twin six shooters, nick named Ebony and Ivory and replaced his mighty double axe into its Dragon skin sheath.

"There is a great tale behind how i acquired these weapons of evil bane traveller. Share with me your greatest story of glory and i shall tell you, of how i managed to make these weapons part with the almighty Dante".

With that, the newcomer sat by Milenko's side. Laughter and back slaps could be heard all through the night, as they both drank their unique concoctions from the bar of Eater.

‘A Two Dimensional Glass of Eight Dimension Pleasure, a work of uniqueness’ Lord Eater had called the drink that lani now held in her hand. The drink was hypnotic in the swirls of colour and light that beckon the drinker to enjoy. To lani’s surprise it had a rather fruity after taste.

The telling of jokes had begun and would hopefully continue until late into the night. Some were funny, and others made no sense, however they all held to the tradition of Lord Eaters bar and were all very silly.

Many new partons had arrived to the Bar while lani watched and enjoyed the ‘unique’ drink that both tn1 and she had received. So far there had only been minor scuffles as each new person had found their place at the bar. Many were already old friends that had been called by the light and the recollection of times of laughter.

‘I have a joke, and it’s as bad as the rest of the jokes that I have heard tonight.’ lani announced to the room, with a cheeky wink.

An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is 'gross' and the other is 'cool'."
From the back of the room a voice called out, "So, Dude, like, what are the words?

Glancing around at the amassed crowd, these mighty heroes testing steel against steel for the nectar of Gods. Sitting back to watch the pending contests of will, doyen chooses instead to bide his time and pick the opportune moment to stab the victor from the shadows.

Flamm: No no, its more like some WWF, AA fight-night

reading in the dimness of her corner, lilu looks over her book, her brow furrowing, she is curious to all the laughter and noise, wondering what could be so loudly entertaining. listening for a moment, she smirks at jokes told by random odd looking strangers.
tabbing the corner of a page of her book, she leans over to put it in her worn leather knapsack. rummaging around, she pulls out her trusty old rubber chicken its now a dirty black colour, but still useful nonetheless. sitting back upright she watches the crowd as she unscrews the cap, bringing ing the flask to her lips, she sips the warm, sweet flavour of her favourite wild turkey bourbon, licking her lips as she screws on the cap and rests it on the table. she thinks to herself that she is greatful for the drink as she eyes off the barmans concoctions. thinking those who taste the foul looking brews must be indeed powerful in mind and constitution.

It's supposed to, Burk.

Aravi cautiously takes a sip of the Comeback, enjoying its taste. Ahh, the future holds much in deed! Praise be to Falin, praise praise and more praise!

He drinks his drink slowly, enjoying every drop, as he watches the crowd flock around before him. He has at least two moons to wait before great things happen. He starts to wonder if there are rooms in this place, to provide him with a place to stay as he waits for her return. Ahhh, life is good :).

Grasping the class the slid across the bar toward him, he lifted it to his lips and drank.

his face convulsed to a thousand twitches and settled to his usual dark features.

"not bad" he rasped, "could use a little more caffene though"

hearing the jokes told by all those before him, Warlock clears his throat,

"This grasshopper walks into a bar, and orders a drink from the barman. The barman says to him 'y'know, we got a drink named after you' and the grasshopper says 'really? you have a drink called Bruce?'"

crashing outside the thunder booms.... twice

boom boom.

smirks, hearing jokes from the dry one. as lighting crashes overhead, she thinks to herself that the gods are not without sense of humour.

man i so wanna write a proper story now... this is good inspiration

.... with the might of Warlocks potent magic still fading in the distance, Eater threw back its head and laughed a deep and bellowing cry to the heavens....

"Damn its good to be in the presence of patrons worthy of my finest brews! Your mirth and laughter brightens the room" with a hissing snap a single UltraSunLampSpotlight pierced the prevailing gloom and illuminated Lord Doyen in all his splendid and radiant glory.

"Perhaps something to fix that horrible condition my Son." Turning rapidly the Eater grasped a slender ebony bottle from the rack and flicked it over Its shoulder. The container landed with a bone jarring thud on the bartop and shook dust from swinging WorldStone door. Snatching a violet crystal decanter and a short squat fungus from Its ear, the Eater turned back to the Blender, a wickedly fanged smile on its maw. Dropping the glowing toadstool into its dark depths the bar heard the familiar tune of a powerful working of magic.

"One little piece of Ballnobbian Fungus, two fingers of Hellish Venom " the violet crystal decanter offered up its precious cargo into the Blender,
"Ahh and finally the ultimate fixer of all things light. Essence of Singularity" the Dark Barman tipped the obsidian bottle into the blender and a fine wisp of smoke curled from it and into the reagent chamber. The darkness of the smoke seemed to draw all the light from its surroundings, turning the surroundings dim and actual sight of it a hard to track with the naked eye. With alarming speed the blender turned a dark shade of blue and began to gather frost to its flanks, so fast did it cool at the touch of the Essence. Closing the lid and setting the Blender to "ultraholic" the Eater finished Its weave of magic and resized a CCOPM to Uber Stein. Grasping the handle of the massive mug, and quickly pouring from the badly shaken and quite stirred up Blender, the Barman flicked it with a casual gesture and sent it hurtling down the Bartop to the already badly burned and hunched form of Doyen.

"For you lad, quickly get it into you, my gift to thee, Ultimate Nighshade "

Winking slyly back to Lani the Dark Barman acknoweledges her noticing the taste made specially for her and promises that if she keeps up the bad jokes the drinks shall continue to be served unto her.

Slinging a pair of Jeds Nud Oathing Beer to the ROT soldiers bravly daring another round against the enemy of sobriety, the Eater turned to the diminuitive and squeeky form of Sh|thousE.

"...both ask the Eater for a Club Soda. " two more peals of the strange sounding thunder rumbled away outside the bar. Well young Sh|thousE, " the victim noticing the correct use of all uppers lowers and miscellaneous text symbols " it would appear that you are in need of some boosting if you are to perhaps stand hear with any presence and feel the power around you.

Conjuring forth two shot glasses from the World Stone, EOS swiftly poured from a bottle snagged by its tail from the shelves. The Bookers poured evenly and filled each vessel to the rim, the air above it shimmered in alcoholic fumes.

" Drink up my son, one for you and one for Knight for giving me a story to remember." Tipping Its shaggy head briefly to Leonami in silent respect for the comment, the Dark Barman continued on Its round of conjuring.
With no small degree of difficulty Eater hoisted a large cage onto the bartop and peered inside at the enraged contents. Hardened feathers scraped along the cage sides as the masive turkosaur sought freedom from its confines. Brandishing a Vorpal edged Sickle, and with the great alacrity of a softly muttered time spell, the Eater beheaded its beloved Bruturkus, whom he had raised for this day and drained its hissing, steaming blood into the blender. Flipping the top and setting it to "purify" the Eater threw a gaze attack of such power that the air itself screamed for mercy at its passing towards Lilu and her desecration of Eaters Bar. With a flash of darkness the old silver hip flask gave up its hold in reality and dissapeared from even the minds of lesser mortals, it was as if it had never existed. Decanting from the blender jug to a polished and gleaming OrcSkull Cup, the Eater calmed the already rising anger and shock of a disgruntled Lilu by presenting her with the Wild Turkeys In My Skull drink of unfathomable purity.

Sitting back on its heavily scarred tail, the Eater surveyed its domain and grew once more happy in its creation

Joke time, feed Eater more jokes :)

A new stranger enters the bar...

his walk slow and pronounced. a raven black cloak hides this strangers face, draping itself over his body. the short figure moves ever so delicately towards the bar where the almighty Eater stands. one scarred and bloody hand clasps the top of the hood of his cloak - slowly, he pulls the hood back to reveal....

Seqo, the unpronouncable.

Eater's eyes narrow..

The onlookers gasp.

His right hand withdraws to the inside of his cloak... He slowly pulls back his cloak..

"What is it?"
"What's he got?"

Whispers are heard all around, shot down with a glance. the short figure against Eater is a stark contrast.

He draws back his cloak, a silence echoes through the rafters.

Steadily, the object is revealed. Once again, those in the bar gasp. Ruin screams.

There, before him, now uncovered in Seqo's hands...

"Oi Eater, where d'you want your bourbon mate?" A sly smile creeps across his face as he puts the 20L bottle of Eater's finest distilled bourbon on the bar. Newly arrived from the caves of humanities darkest nightmares... (Eater's home brewery.)

"Order a round, and you can take it out of my paycheck, Eater" offers Seqo.

The Eater seems pleased with this new delivery...

Well Eater my old friend, this evening I have not a joke for you but a tale of my day.

I spent the day adventuring in Nordock. Being a little hung over from the previous days partying I decided that bashing orcs in the morning just wasn't. Strolled around Benzor and talked with a few mates, nothing much going on. I decide it was time to brush up a little on my smithing skills. So out to the old mine it was for a few hours of bashing riock followed by a few more hours standing infront of the hearth smelting away.

A few of my fellow guild members arrived and joined me in my practice of the noble trade.

Around lunch we became restless and so decided to go forth and adventure. Off to the northen forest to see what we could find. Creeping about in the dark we were not sure what we would find. Eventually we came across a few small band of Kobolds and dispatched them with ease. Smelly little bastards weren't even carying any gold.

Further into the forest we found a few wild beasties - Jaguars Bears and the like, again we ran them through with our swords without a care.

Suddenly the forest seemed to get darker. The hairs on my neck stood on end. We all became weary, the spellcasters busily summoning familiars and casting protective auras.

We pushed on.

Heading around a small ledge we came upon a town gaurdsman. He looked scared as I have seen. All he could blabber was that we should not cross the bridge ahead. With our protective spells around us we laughed off the warning and headed for the bridge.

A little beyond the bridge we came to a small clearing. The group entered and spread themselves around. Suddenly there was the crack of a branch breaking somewhere, and we were set upon by 15 Beserker trolls.

A heart battle proceeded and we did prevail without loss.

As the first cheer went up, we heard it.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

The earth was shaking heavily with each thump.

Thump.

Thump

Only one thing makes that kind of thunders sound.

Thump. Thump.

Dragon!

Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump.

Oh shit!! Two Dragons. Green swamp Dragons.

I steadied myself and drew my sword. Our Spellcasters could be heard chanting as quick as they could. Protective bariers being put up.

And then the dragons were upon us.

Much of the next 5 muinutes is a blur. Blinding lights of the powerful spells being hurled at the dragons. The acrid smell of the Green dragon flame as it burn plant and flesh alike. Hacking, Slashing, Screams all blurred into one.

One dragon down. Horray! Two mates lost. Still we fought on.

Finally with a massive explosion of a fireball, the second was bought down.

It took a minute for the red viel to clear from my eyes. We did it. I did it. My first dragon slaying. What a feeling.

After resting for some time we returned home. I cleaned my weapons and headed for the pub. Eater, mix me a drink worth of a real celebration.

Flipping a CCOPM up from behind Eaters back, the Barman proceeded to conjure several simultaneous spells in rapidly spat words, all meaning lost in complexity and harshness. The tremendously complex glass ware that materialised in front of It glinted and glowed with soft inner light, its purpose singular and intent. Pouring careful measures of Vodka, Milk and Kaluha into the many open chambers of the apparatus. In perfect unison the device mixed and blended the fluids, collecting the result in a stoppered tube towards thae base. Briefly pausing to rip several cubes of Caina PermaFrost from a rapidly dwindling gate, Eater freed the stopper and poured forthe a White Russian of total Unison.

"Just for you my son."

Lifting the massive container of bourbon and weaving a multiconjuration-feat-of-the-gods Eater produced and dispensed cups filled with the precious nectre to all its patrons, noting the horrendous cost on the UnproNouncable One's tab and draining the remaing contents in a powerful swig. Revitalised with untold power the Dark Barman narrowed its senses and felt a familar sensation.

A slight pressure had begun to build behind Eaters eyes, a calling, a summon, something was trying to get his attention. Uttering a making spell of complete perfection, Several doors sprang into existance on eitehr side of the bar. Several were clearly marked as sleeping quaters, several as storage, but a few clustered apart from the otehrs drew the most atention from the patrons. Male and Female bipedal toilet symbols flourished on the surface, these doors were known, however it was the strange symboled doors that appeared on either side that drew gasps of suprise. With perfect understanding each patron now knew that individual crappers had been conjured for thier releif.

Sighing, its work complete, Eater released its mind to wander the megaverse in search of eternitys end.......

almost as soon as everyone within the bar had begun to turn their thoughts and concerns back to their beverages, following the display of power by the Eater, a shouting begins from the direction of the symbol holding doors, the yells of words like ...
...leech.. dirty... rouge... bastard of a demonspawn...

then like the finally to a good play, the kind that ends with a bang, not with all that thinking and stuff, a might thwap is heard and the bipedal male seems to jump slightly then swing held on now only by his top right hand corner...

almost as soon as the poor symbolic man has stoped swinging the doors are slammed open and out runs a dryad, her legs are long and her skin slightly green tinted, the slightly frizzed brown hair is tied in, she is obviously extremely annoyed and atempting to complete buttoning the top two buttons of her brown doe skin shirt... Leonami, subtle though he be attempts to lean him self into a more profitable viewpoint, and almost falling onto his war scarred hind...

The Dryad slams through the doors still huffing and puffing about some injustice or obscenity... the doors swing on their hinges being as if a the very hands of father time's clocks ticking away the long moments of silence...

The room is quite and a drunken hmph, attracts the attention of several patrions to the fact that stumbling out of that same angular symboled door is a small slightly unshaven fellow with a beer gut... he has always seemed to be here, or at least from the very begining.. he has some good storys that would earn him drinks.. some that have already been told.. and others that would see him thrown out in a blink of the eye...

"stupid dryads will believe anything... good idea telling her about the trunk that needed help growing, with water and sunlight barman" says the fellow throwing the barman a knowing wink... "still perhaps i should choose a less fiesty one next time, she damned broke my zipper" *HIC* says the strange as the the fact that this gentleman has an open fly is revealed so obviously to everyone in the room, causing spero to laugh and lani and warlock to turn away with looks of disgrace and mutal embarresment... luckily the fly reveals nothing except it's own inability to work, but the actual zip can be seen at the top while the rest is broken...

This strange drunken fellow now realising he has the attention of the establishment looks around at all the blank faces... "geeze it's been a while.. got some new and some old faces i see Eater-son.. "(this is followed by some words in a language known by few and feared by most as the black speech of Auratory combat).. a nod is passed to tn1 and a few others...

the bar begins to return to a quite mumor slowly building up to it's previous level of volume... with a old looking man begining to head towards spero with the intention to shake her hand as many times as he can this evening...

eater continues to stare at the young burger
"any way... do you still serve your same garbage old man... hmm let me see... i am going to be needing a ale of a sweedish mountain giant for smelly..." briefly looking around for a companion who is always around here with him for a pub-walk-up... "ohh well he will get here soon i am sure.. he's probably having to do some chores for the misses... give him the bottle, and i want a freshly squeezed wild fire turkey of the north, and a the cushions swaet of a phone-eating uber rocking chair on the rocks... in.... " the man searchs his pocket and removes a hat with two bottles upside down on either side and red writing declaring, ' i drink and i vote, then i drink.' and he toesses it at the barman "in that, 'ole faithfull... and don't give me any of that damned sorceror gibberish mixes, i am not here to hear your literally god damned voice damnit!"

Eater looks at the hat, an a small smile gracing the corner of his mouth least infested with demonic filth and crap... (he speaks words unknown to the crowd but burgers looks up at himwith knowing)
"and how you going to pay for all this young one... you hit your tab limit..."

"ahh phooey there is no tab limit... i proved that the last time you tried that... but your still in luck" Burgers removes from his pocket a doe skin purse and starts to search it, removes some twigs and leaves... throws a id at leonami and says "you should look her up some time, might even make you a boy one of these days ;)" and then withdraws some finely carved wooden notes and throws them at eater... "like i said, stupid dryads" the both laugh as he pockets the purse once more and turns purposefully but stops....

"ahh damnit eater... you call this is a bar.. i have seen bottle'os with more entertainment, now stop fooling round and do this right"

eater glares vengefully at the little man, and from what appeared to be solid rock wall a ogre moves, the bouncer... any other being mortal or not would have faced his fists no less than a moment after they had spoken such a insult to these premises.... but he got away with alot... always did... suddenly eater laughed a booming agreeience and with a wave of his hands he caused that which is unbreakable, and permanent, the very walls of the bar to expand and enlarge and to one end a juke box is added, with only eater music in it, so largely the screams of a thoushand nerds in an electrical storm (extremely horrible by any standards), A pool table with talloned legs and a pentagram instead of a D appears the otehr side along with a dart board with the bullseye being a real bulls Eye...

"better" chortles burgers and walks over to the wall where it appears to shudder and a set of pool cues and a few assorted weapons appear on a rack...

Burgers places a single dragon scale in the pool table and it begins to rumble and all black balls except one red appear to fall from the roof onto the table landing in the pentegram, with teh red being in the middle.. a few members of the bar know the rules... it is the table from hell.. (so eater always borrowing it out to make things more lively)Rules are: you must hit the red ball, without fouling by hitting the 20 or so other black balls on the table first, winner is the guy who sinks the red, no magic, no demon spatial twisting, and no curses on your opponent on the break... if you foul it causes the table to rise up and attempt to kill you, and the fangs surrounding the mouth from which the whiteball appears and the wagging tail with chalk on the end of a huge spike seems to mean it is truly a russian roulete game...
the burger smiles at some of the shocked onlookers, takes a demonbladed spear and a cue from the rack and looks at the ogre... "wanna break?"... thowing him easily the cue, which looks as if a conductors baton in his huge hands...

the ogre seems hesatant but realising his reputation on the line agrees...
lining the shot up promptly attempt to carve his name in the fiery velvet covering the table starting with the letter I and missing the white ball completely, the tables response is quick and attempts to knock him down with a right foot swipe and connects sollidly, yet move the huge bounce not... the table realising its folly simple moves the white ball back in place and appears to almost whimper as it sits back into what appears to be just an extremely scary pool table hardly the shadow of it's angry, like a guy who can't seem to find a car park on the day before christmas with no present kind of angry, creatrue it will become apon the next foul shot. "two shots for me then?"

Feeling the aftershocks of his monstrous drink, Milenko asked where the bathroom was. A patron pointed down a grim looking hallway. "Straight down there, first right, dodge the hell hound, first left, mind the pit of spikes, then your first door on the left".

"Thank you, but i dont think the Hell hound will be of consequence". Milenko said, as he edged of his bar stool and slowly dragged his feet toward the hall, tripping over cracks in the floor. The whole time, EOS stood laughing.

Dodging the Hell hound and jumping over the pit of spikes, he finally found his way to the bathroom.
Hellish screams and cries of agony were heard throught out the bar, until finally, Milenko made his way back to the bar.

"Get into some strife with the Hell hound did we squire?" inquired Amph. "Not at all my friend, EOS simply failed to mention that that concoction contained lizard lavae. Those things are damn hard to pass. Even with a constitution such as mine!".

EoS smiled his black fanged grin and went back about his business.

Mungus crawls out from underneath a table. He blinks in the sudden harsh light of Eater's bioluminescence. He makes a brief attempt at standing, only to crumple in a beer-soaked heap - the cacaphony of jarbled memories of the previous night still flashing before his eyes. He wants to die. He peers about in a wobbly fashion;

"Where the fuck did all you people come from?"

"And then he was all like Hey baby just five more minutes im sure it'll work"
The dryad proceeded to tell the crowd shortcomings of the one inadequete burgers.

SperO sipped her red cordial wondering why anyone would be stupid enough to feed the already hyperactive girl more sugar - more RED sugar at that. For one everyone seemed to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.

She was always one for 'less is more'

Looking at the lifeless corpse of Phenom she has murdered only minutes before because because he was being an annoying spammer in more then one way she screamed.

Weeeeeeeeee

It was going to be a long day.

Cow comes in and wonders where NyT's magical juice is

:(

Thats an easy one.

Its spread out over a quater of a mile at Adelaide international raceway.

Took about 13 and a half seconds to lay it all out.

Damn it's quick!!!

PCOTY

Sounds of curse words filled the bar as a ruckus outside brought all bar-goers to a standstill, their eyes fixated on the bland stony entrance. Leonami’s attention now turned from the merrymaking of the bar to that grey stone door. Seconds turned to hours and time slowed to a sluggish speed as the raucous commotion continued. The silence broken as a repulsive figure burst through the doors of the bar. He was besmirched with red lipstick all over his sheepish-looking face, his clothes were in tatters and he carried the foul smell of sex. There was a long uncomfortable silence before yet another figure emerged through those doors.

It was a female dryad, a very good looking one at that. Leonami’s attention turned immediately to the finely shaped maiden. It was not often that he saw a pretty lady as he came from a remote region of the north, but this one was quite exceptional. He subtly stood up from his chair to catch a glimpse of the nymphet before she finished buttoning her shirt and quickly sat down as he saw the young man cast an eye in his direction. He cursed himself at his inability to control his male instincts. He looked around tersely, but all eyes were preoccupied by the barbaric entrance of such an unchaste fool. He was slightly gladdened by the thought that such things had gone unseen and turned his attention back to the general happenings of the bar.

Many people were murmuring and he managed to catch the name of this unsightly young man through the mundane chatter. His name was Burgers he had heard and he seemed to be a regular here as he payed his respects to many fellow patrons. Leonami’s focus was drawn to Burgers once more. Burgers was arguing with the Dark Barman about a tab of some sorts before walking up to the bar and producing a small female purse. He pulled out a wooden card and threw it onto the counter in front of Leonami who was very much offended by the comment that followed. It was an intense mental battle that ensued as Leonami struggled to suppress his instinctual feelings to unseam the idiotic fool from chin to navel. Succeeding in his mental battle, Leonami drew his hand away from his hidden weapon and swore revenge against such an arrogant cretin. He then drew his attention back to the hell-raising summons of the Dark Barman, as he produced a few more additions to his already superb premise. “Let him have his laughter for now” thought Leonami maliciously, “The time will come, my poor misguided friend, the time will come”

jumping as her trusty friend, the flask dissapears, Lilu looks up and around the bar for the pransker. Eyeing off the host, watching him mix his brews she accepts the drink he hands to her with caution. smelling it momentarily, she brings it to her lips and takes a small sip. raising her eyebrows, she smirks and takes another, fuller drink. raising the brew to the mighty Eater in a thanking gesture.
leaning back in her chair, drink in hand, she watches closely the tavern patrons, chckleing at their jokes and antics.

There was no escaping the fine elixer. Caught like some perplexed, stunned quarry in Eater's UltraSunLampSpotlight, Doyen sensed his impending doom as the brew slid, screeching towards him down the length of the bar...

Some hours later, Doyen regained something resembling sanity. Remebering the last time he vowed Eater would never again get the chance to feed him his wild concoctions, Doyen pretended wholeheartedly like he still had BOTH eyebrows, and ALL of his hair on his head.

.... in a smeared blur the Eaters mind staggered back into is shell, the effort

apparent as it staggerd slightly and frosty breath hissed from its mouth. Through glazed and

bleary eyes the Dark Barman scanned its home and counted to ten before dispensing the

untold power to the patrons. Shifting its aura slighly darker so as not to hurt

young Munguses senses, Eater fished its pocket for the fresh ingredients from Doyens

skull.

"It was good of thee to offer up such powerful reagents for the next round, the bar salutes you." Tossing the hair ito the blender with a fresh dash of Hector Mammerhands Hells Halitosis chilli sauce, the Eater prepared a recovery drink to steady its shattered nerves. Dropping in a rhemoraz scale and a rats dingleberry, the Dark barman steeled itself and pushed the hangover button on the blender as it recited a tried and true incantation of healing.

Glowing a dark crimson the blender reduced the mix to a thick syruppy paste wich bubbled with its own life and essence. Not bothering with mere vessels, Eater of SOuls tipped the blender up and drained its contents in a fiery hissing gulp. Swallowing the brew and slamming the blender jug back in its place the Dark barman steady itself as fiery tendrils licked from its open maw.

"Hell and damn i say, hell and damn. No more vodka shall i consume this century, the price of such sweet potatoey nectre outweighed by the consequences."

Accepting the first of many payments from a disturbed Burgers, Eater flicks its wrist in swift summon and sends the required drinks to crystal vessels and presents them before Burgers with a magicains flourish.

"Ther ya go son, dont break the rules, lest Grinder break you . Grinder, let him have his two shots, god knows he needs em"

Pickled Brain, Eater Style, comin right up.

Selecting an aged bottle of Captain Morgans Spiced Rum and a smaller bottle of Amaretto, Eater set them upon the Bar. Reaching down into the darkness under the Bar, EoS seized a hidden bottle of Baileys and added that to the other two. Grabbing the CMSR, Eater poured a full double shot into the Crystal Cup, swiftly followed by a double shot of Amaretto. With a quick snap of Its talons, Eater summoned a perfect red cherry to his palm. Holding the cherry by the stem, It dribbled the baileys over it, the creamy liquid pouring off and into the cup. The baileys formed and coagulated into the exact image of a suspended human brain. Crushing the cherry easily, the juice fell and mingled with the forming brain shape giving it a dark red tinge. Gathering Its will, the Eater began to glow with a pale blue luminescence and spoke in the deep Words of Power once again.
" I am that wich Is and should Not be. I am the whisperer of death, bringer of destruction and Dark Lord of the Void. Heed my call, listen to the Soul Song and weep tears of despair at my presence. Give me the Power and strength to bring forth the true form of this doomed drink."
Its fur standing on end, the Eater seized the trembling glass and poured its Dark Magic into it. Sparks flew, a crisp cold wind raced through the room and Souls wailed as the Dark Barman weaved Its conjuring to a close.
With a lurch and a jump, the brain pulsed once, twice, then settled into a slow beating rythymn. Wiping the crystalised obsidian sweat from its brow Eater carefully handed the Cup of Perfect Measure to Leonami with a steady hand.

"All yours Son. May your brain be wiped clean to endure another day of Battle. Oh and Spero maybe we all want to see you shed your form under the influence of red sugar and blossom into true form and power of a hyperactive lass of bladed tongue"

Swiftly mixing a Freedy Fudpucker for the obiously strong Milenko, Eater began a vile summon of such alchoholic potency as to make even the gods recoil in fear.

"Lord Nytcrawler I summon the from the darkness and the pits of depravity, from Molochs dark grave i call forth in a summons to thee. Deliver unto us the Magic Orange Juice of Ultimate Potency so that my patrons can sup of its goodness and be whole again."

As the final words of power flowed from its cracked lips the Eater staggered and leant heavily against the bar, the strain of summoning in its current weakend state almost to much for it to bear.

..and with but a casual flick of a talon the stupidity was banished from the bar again.....

I warned you

EOS

knock ....

knock ....

knock ....

suddenly the bar goes quiet, for that can only be the very secret knock of one unimaginable soul.

/moments before few had heard the eardrum-shattering howl of the forlorn and mysterious pewter chalice of Lord NyT .... PCOTY. However, those that had ears keen of the gentle whistle of forced induction, and the lowly rumble of the SR20 knew the arrival of Nightcrawler was imminent - in fact a mere 12.74 seconds away :D

With the ferocity of a funnel-web spider and stealth of a fox, NyT kicks the tavern door ajar and casually slides up to the bar.

"Mintie said I would find you here" *grin*

"Evening Lord Eater .... (otherwise known as Eater of Chicken Meals) .... may I trouble you for a special additive to complete my magical orange juice? I seem to have run out of the vital component - magic"

With a toothless grin he greets his old mate in the custom of TOB, and even though they haven't seen each other for some time now, not a word further needs to be exchanged between these 2 mighty warriors, for the shared blood of the TOB brotherhood inexplicably entwines their rich lives, fears and victories, as 2 parts of a larger, stranger, manevolent force.

Milenko casually yet calmly slides down the length of the bar....yes, the whole way, until he's next to rec.

"So", he said "whats a young slut like you doing in a place like this"? Giving him a quick wink ;)

Aravi's eyes scan the bar, for awhile things have gone quiet. He looks into his belt-pouch to check how much he has, but not enough to offer everyone a shout. Although...

Aravi quietly chuckles as an idea forms in his head. Clearing his throat he prepares to make his proposal.

"He who makes me laugh the most, I will buy him a drink".

gets up..... falls over....

"TAXI" was yelled by 90% of the people around...

Soloman slowley craws for the bar... manages to say "one.. the drink" the bar tender with skills in drunken talk... translate it to... "WTF"
then the talking chicken walks into the bar picks soloman up and pull of the chicken nuggets... everyone starving, hussles over to the chicken each grabbing some nugget.. and milenko who is compleatlly drunk by the looks of it when he tryed to pick up rec grabs the chicken itself and eats it..
now this chicken wasent any chicken it was a talking chicken...
so milenko starts talking... soloman being the only one whos amazed... says"it must be the chicken inside him, its still alive"...

falls asleep...

Observing the form of Soloman, Aravi turns and calls out 'Any other amusing antics, this specimen is too drunk for another drink'.

.....with a creaking sound and a slight swaying motion, Eaters mind rockets back oncemore into its fearsome bar form.....

"Millenko stop trying to chat up my customers, its scares them away and is bad for business. Aravi my son lets see if we cant etch a smile on that carefree face of yours, and SOLOman1, your speech has touched my hearts, drinks for you here."

Reaching behind It, the Dark Barman selects an acncient crystal bottle and rips the cork out in easy swift motion. Letting the Jim Beam Gold slide into a medium vegemite glass, Eater added but two ice cubes and rumbles to the nuggetless SOLOman1"Get this into thee, and new nuggets shall grace thee in short time"All eyes turn to the swinging WorldStone doors as the screech of multiple hooves on cobblestone clatters to a stop.

"When i says WHOA! I MEANS WHOA! Stoooooooppid mecha Reindeer."Smilling its all knowing smille the Eater begins a summon for one of its first customers, a summon done only once a year for the last untold millenia. Throwing the doors wide and striding in, the newcomer did not hesitate but made his way straight to the bar and wedged a stool under its scarred and pitted form.

"Ahhh, Lord OverG, same as usual i take it?" not pausing to even hear the grunted reply, Eater kicks the shelves with a cloven foot and holds both arms out waiting to catch the falling Shelved Spirits. Arcing down from the heavens with fresh frost formed on its sides, the bottle of Green Chartreuse and its partner in descent, Bookers Beam, raced downwards to oblivion. Catching both, the Dark Barman turned back to the leather jacket clad and chained humanoid, who was carefully removing several weapons and placing them on the bartop in plain view of the bouncer and patrons, and rumbled ancient and feared words to him.

"Ready my Son?"

"Indeed" came the reply as Gunz psyched himself mentally for the drink of Champions. In careful measured tones, Eater invoked the summon and poured its Will into it, the room quitened at its tone. With a slight pop the bottles uncorked themselves and hovered before Eater, the contents already resigned to thier fate bubbled slightly and accepted the arcane power flowing into them. Rising swiftly from t he bottles, the alcohol twisted and flowed together, creating a swirling tempest of intoxication before the shocked onlookers.

Struggling slightly to hold the two vehement reagents together in a Air Swirl, the Dark barman began to sweat tiny beads of obsidian from its scaled brow. Reaching a thunderous creshendo, EOS pointed with a single taloned digit at Lord OverG's head and unleashed the newly formed Talocs Tortured Tears directly into his open mouth. Ripping its way into him, the TTT spared not a single cell from its intoxicating touch, OverG's body began to convulse from the assault. With steam hiisng from his ears and fresh blood flowing from his eyes, GunZ slumped face first on the bartop gasping for breath

"Salt and water" the barely heard gasp hissing from shattered teeth.With a simple gesture a CCOPM resised itself to recovery and freshly formed Caina Ice dropped into it from a hasty portal. Its skin crawling at the mere presence, Eater poured clear and tasteless poison into it and placed a shaker of Maugrims Moon Salt next to it.

"Its good to have you back my son"

and I thought I dribbled shit.........

....and with an earth shattering rumble Eaters mind races back into familar territory....

Pausing for naught but asecond, Eater uncorks a fine brandy and swills half its contents. Spitting the now foaming brew into a large quaffer, Eater incants the Burning Word and lights the poor creature aflame. As the powerful spell crystalised the quaffer with its fiery touch, Eaters snatches it back and drains it in a single gulp.

"Damn stupid trolls"

and propmptly astral walks, departing as swiftly as It had arrived...

Does this mean no more drinks :(

Plenty of drinks to be had, just had to take care of a stoooooopid Troll invasion :)

drinks at evo.. :D

Out of the shadows a cloaked figure steps out on the floor of the old bar. Almost coming out of the wall, in that instant Ruin stands up and cries "he's a farking wallhacking cheat", with that Ruin falls back to the ground. Unconscious and limp as a Himelian slug.

Pulling a beautifully crafted dagger out from behind his cloak, the cloaked figure twirls it quickly and with a flick hurls it across the room.

The room gasps and closes their eyes praying for a quick death. Fearfully Seqo squints out of one eye and exclaims "Crikey he's got an aimbot too!". The dagger, was buried into Eater's dartboard.

At almost a level impossible to hear, the figure questions the now huddled crowd in the corner of the bar "where's Eater gone to now?"

.....time coalesces and forms a shapless heaving mass, thought is given, and Eaters mind races back into Its Barman Form....

"Time Eater thinks, for a quick shooter to liven up the Bar"

Snatching several powerful ingredients from the Heavenly Shelves, Eater summoned a plethora of shot glasses from the World Stone bartop and proceeded to fill each with measured tips of the wrist and deft talon eye precision pouring.

First a genourous shot of Fairies Green Absynthe, its power causing each CCOPM to crack under the onslaught. Green veins shot up and through each crack of the crytal shotglass, the crystal itself glowing emerald with new life. Next a precision spash of Triple Sec, the veined shotglasses surging with its sweet fury, growing, hardening into organ shaped vessels. With head thrown back the Dark Barman approached the bar with the final ingredient, held in asbestos gloved claws, Ultimate Tobasco. The mere backwash of its heat causing the startled patrons to shrink back from its raging bottled Inferno Demon. With great care, Eater coaxed but a single drop into each bodily container and incanted a single word of Insane Power.

......the bar darkened at the word and the onlookers grew hushed and fearful......

With an eery thump, each part began to pulse from within, a new beat from each vessel enchanted, until the beats blended into a massive choir, a single perfect note.

Come now my patrons, come sup of Eaters bar, taste my new creation, The Shattered Elf Shooter......

hehehe "salt .... salt and water" mumbled in an almost incoherent stream of Asio-Americo-Austraaaalian dialect .... welcome home Gunzeeee :D

.... and now for one of your fabled TSES's please Lord Eater :)

Soloman the first to step up the the challenge grabs a shot glass.. smelling its fury, he then takes a glance at eater.. and takes the shot...
as it go's down his throat he recalls everything that went in this shot glass... he scringes up his face.. can he take it... everyone watches he take a step back.. starts to shake. at this point everyone is ready for him to chuck.. but no he manages to swallow it and hold it down.. he stubbles over to eater and says "nice mix man" and then sits and waits for the next person to take the challenge.. will there be anyone else.. time will tell..

but eater.. i shall have a drink with you at evo :)

EDIT dam u Nightcrawler

As the patrons of Eaters Bar sat transfixed by Solomans heroic feat of drinking, another entity has slipped quietly through the massive swinging doors..Approaching the bar via the deep shadows that hug the walls only a faint luminence from beneath the heavy cloak gives any clue as to the identity of the newcomer.
Whisper soft footfalls skirt around the swaying form of Soloman, who looks ready to crash from his stool at any moment. as the latest patron to the legendary bar approaches the Dark Barman himself..
With a slight shake of its head, the creature allows the hood of its cloak to fall away. Bowing formally to the Almighty Eater of Souls the strangely birdlike creature awaits some response from the massive being behind the bar..
For his part EOS deigns to slightly widen his all seeing eyes and rock back a little farther on his horrifically scarred tail..noticing at the same time the red gold plumage lying sleekly against this new customers neck, disappearing abruptly under the folds of the dark cloak.
"Mighty Eater, tales of your bar have spread far and wide, so far as to reach even mine ears"...EOS continues to stand motionless behind his world stone..hawever at close range he has detected a distinct increase in temperature, as if beneath its wrap, this being was smouldering...
"Please allow me to introduce myself, i am unfamiliar with the customs of your house"
"I am the Phoenix Inferno, Fire made flesh..reborn each cycle of the ashes from my previous self".."Please do not be alarmed if i burst into flames whilst in your bar, it is a symptom of my species only...Or perhaps the result of one of your better concoctions!" The Darkest of Barmen finally cracks a smile like the yawning chasm of a deep ravine..recognising at once the wry humour that has been missing in his bar for some time..perhaps this walking Inferno is worthy of one of his elaborate creations...

"Escushe me bar keep. Watsh th' chanshes of anoffa drink go shir?".
Milenko appeared to have been destroyed by Eaters concoction, face twisted and limbs a quiver.

"ima jush gonna lay down here for a bit".

out of the storm walks a cloaked figure. through the dark hood burning red eyes are aglow, with a snarl that bares fangs etched in the deepest abyss of hell the creature strides toward the bar. every step bears a soft scream that can be felt rather than heard seemingly of those that have been tortured or rather those souls taken and trapped for eternity by this hell fiend. the scorching red eyes search the bar and then Lucifer snickers at his long time friend and brother in arms Eater. "wild turkey" echoes with a chill only felt in the darkest dreams as the maw of this hideous creature doesnt even move. the raw stench that emanates from the devils presence is enough to stir even the most fearless warrior in his prime.

The evening goes on, for it is only a stranger that notices the dark, eerie shadow moving swiftly around the bar, examining and studying the bars occupants. The shadow, that appears without any physical form attached, moves quickly, yet discretely from one point to another. The sight of a tall, young man trying his luck at the table from hell catches this strangers eye. Without hesitation, the shadow, still withholding his identity conjures up a dragons scale and places it upon the edge of this odd shaped table.

Feeling the curiosity of those around him, the earth begins to move, the heavens begin to open and the sky lets out a tremendous roar of thunder. A deafening wind begins to whirl around the bar. A group in the corner struggle to keep their game of cards on the table. Without warning an ecstasy of light, sound and other various unknown forms of energy coerce into a single instance, shaped spherically. Everything but time itself comes to a screaming halt, and beneath... Neo appears.

After apologising for his untimely appearance to the poor card players in the corner, who have now all but lost their chances off winning, he calmly makes his way towards the bar.

With the roar of Hamburgers demanding a match of hells pool in the background, Neo places his dagger, shaped like no other seen before onto the bar and says.... "You await my arrival?"

Watching The Shadows suddenly flash the HamBurges jumps back from the table fearful of his 27th straight foul shot on the table of hell and his close to assured "Pants-ing!"....

"Yea God ShhkNeo! ya Using ya flashy entrance again i see... WEll TOok ya time... i have seen Sobeerish Slugs Go Faster, admitidly that was the Annual Races... wouldn't they want my hides for Those Debts HAHA..."

The burgers realising his embilishment of Sobeerish Slugs The slowest Creatures known to ... well walk.. for a lack of a better term... the earth racing... reaches his hand around behind his back... Assasin in dark Corners Dive... Warriors Raise Shiels... magicians begin incantations... and a Small tartin Hank-a-chief is removed and the tenshion of the room is not quelled by the sound of him Blowing his noses loudly and obviously... quite Chunkily on his hankachief before stuffing it back in his pocket and examing the table....

"well i think i am about as stuffed as a bunch of prawns Verus a Hero Unit in Drinking Chess..."

he sighs deeply... and quitely he wishpers to himself "woe is me... when the barman notices i have payed of my bill in Enchanted Drow Gold... only with a 24hr expiry date i am gonna get the boot.. not more fine liquer... loving Convoctions and Horrid Destructions Simultaneously... I shall miss it... the People... the free Flea-nuts..."

THe Burgers ponders actually using his own money to pay his bill... but he figures it would e worse to be confess cheating whebn he could avoid it than to be caught after the clock ran out...

He walks to the table from hell agian and sharpens his Spead-cue... then as coherently as possible yells something of a challenge to This ... KNeeo and a small point baout it being His Round... grining deceptivly...

finally in the dark of the room he examines grinders Wallet...
Jacob Willson Grindinsington the third of the Grindish Kindom, 21st inline to the throne of Grindshaw... quiet a wealthy inheretent not only by Proof buy by obious fact that Grindish Kingdom is known for its reserves of Stone for masonry... even this Termite Infested Worlstone probably came from a quarry in that region... he quitely wondered if Grinder got the Dark Barman a discount.. but thought it quite possible and likely... but was unsure who was the winner with such Shabby worldstoneVeins.. it was obviously the offcuts and the practice ground of a Apprentice.. but still it beat wood or marble or the firey flames of inner Hell any day... and few would tell the difference...

His money was quickly invested involuntarily and the wallet returned... there would be much mirth and joy this night

Mungus enjoys the mystical pretzels

... a quite shudder ripples through the indestructible Worldstone, a single slight seam arcing out from the inert barman gathering dust behind his pride...

.. a second ripple follows the first after minimal pause... another...another..

Growing in rapidity and fiercness, the ripples seem to blur together in a rolling crashing wave spreading out from the stirring form of the Dark Barman.

Scales of Time flaking from its heavy lids, the Eater opened it ageless eyes and surveyed the scene before it, noting the entrance with a widening grin the newest additions to the bar scene, and a few returning comrades in intoxication.
"Hail and well met to thee Phoenix Inferno, indeed mention of your arrival did seep its way to my ears many an age ago, but only now have i the power to acknoweledge it fully. Lord Milenko indeed another brew can be yours for the taking, for a price of course. Cough up just a dram of Soul Energy to cover the next millenia of brews forming from my twisted rage grip. Even though you carry a different title Lord Dragar you are indeed welcome back to my Bar at any time, and another screaming gobbler comes your way as soon as i finish my greetings. My Greater Senses detected a definite swerv in space time to allow your presence here Neo, a glitch in the Fantasy if you would. Capering Hamburgers, your amazing skills always a delight and a welcome sight at my bar, please do not let your soon transit of dwelling change that."
Whirling in half a heartbeat the towering form of the Dark Barman loomed menacingly over Mungus and flames dripped from its fang filled maw as it bore down on him with a fury not matched by raging Gods who war for generations of Man. Muscles clenching and surging under rippling scales Eater beagn a swift short series of Boneless Incantantion, arms and hands seeming to flail like tentacles, so fast did they weave the spell. Reaching inside its Dark Cloak Eater withrew a small white pouch and thrust it towards Mungus
"Care for a Jelly Baby"

Not pausing to see the form of Mungus slide from the barstool, his face locked in a rictus of fear and a Jelly baby clenched tightly in his fist, Eater began the Great Summoning of Drinks.

Immediatly the room began to chill as the Dark Barman weaved arcane might and unstoppable madness. Frost began to form and flake around Its scaled form as temperatures plunged into the unknown region of an inert atomic coma. Gathering even more negative energy into Itself the Eater began to shiver, sheets of ice cascading from its frosted flanks and breath coming in short gasps now, but still It would not relent in the summon. As Time slowed to a crawl and vision of the summon bcame impossible, the spell began to take shape and a frigid cocoon formed, suspended in the air in front of the Great Form.
With a snapping hiss the Barman cleft the cocoon in twain with Its Blade and released the trapped form from within. As one the bar patrons let out a small gasp as a beutiful fairy, hovered on silken blue wings in front of Eater, stretching its arms and legs, yawning at the light and blinking uncertainly at the crowd. Cooing gently, Eater held up a single talon and beckoned to the fairy to come closer to It. Flitting forward the fairy smiled at its new master and raced to perch on its talon. Smiling gently down at the perfect features of the fairy, The Dark Barman incanted its doom in a swift and deadly spell. Crystlas of sugar began to form on the dainty gossamer childs hands, the crytals hardening and racing up the length of its fragil arms and spreading swiftly over the entire creature. Tears barely had begun to form at the pain before fine porcelein features were obscurred in a crystal confectionary coating. Finishing of the last of the Death By Sugar spell, Eater rammed a short splint of wood up and into the Sugar Frosted Fairy and presented it to Phoenix.
"May its energy cause great pleasure within you flaming avian"

Acknoweldging the gleamng eyes and hastily taken sweet treat, The Dark Barman returned to its mighty task at hand.

Twirling two easily summoned CCOPM shot glasses in its talons Eater slammed them down in front of Milenko and filled them to the brim with Hanky Bannisters Banned Brain Blaster, a vile brew concocted from Illithid secretions and Umber Hulk frontal lobe. Sprinkling a fine powder of dehydrated flames over the shots the Dark Barman galvanised the intoxicated form of Milenko in to an arm swinging action with a mere roar of "DRINK!" and slammed down its own stinging spitting flaming vial. Roaring a mighty bellow the Dark Barman slammed it back down on the WorldStone Bartop with force enough to move mountains. Licking its lips eagerly Eater moved onto the next challenge as Milenko steeled himself for the end.

Moving towards the ThriceNumberedOne, Eaters own stench began to cloud up from Its DarkCloak to meet the challenge of the barbarian before it. Struggling to move forward in the miasma of stench, Eater reached under the bar and brought forth the gagging form of a Double Headed Fire Breathing Phase Doppleganger Lernaen Bombardier medium sized TyrannoTurkey and dumped it unceremoniously onto the bartop. Squaking at the pain the Turkey suffered to be plucked, lathered with soap and shaved to gleaming perfection. Turning a bright shade of red the embarresed fowl began to invert and collapse in embarresment at the overwhelming scrutiny being focused on it. Choosing its only logical fate the bird dived into the Blender, flicked itself onto frappe and sank into the whirling bladed destruction. Casually tossing in a few ogre hairs and a cockatrice feather, Eater flicked the blender onto Atomize and wafted the steaming mixture into a cold CCOPM and presented the condensing Rare Inbreed Reconciler to the bemused barbarian.
"Just like Mum used to make"

Swatting the shelves with Its mighty tail Eater dislodged several containers and caught them swiftly and easily with expert precision, placing all the ingredients before it ont he Bartop. Into two CCOPM Eater weaved dark magic and darker mixing talent. A dash of Hellmarenth, a squeezed single drop of Arcanososs, a splash of Persprentia, and a slice of lemming to garnish the drink nicely.
" Here my Son, an Ugnaught Cleanser for you and your friend gracing my table, lets not see underwear displayed again in my bar so swiftly after last weeks GrabAss episode"

With patrons placated and a fang showing smile Eater yawned and began to slip back into agless slumber and dreams of untold power and forgotten magic.....

Alas poor Eaters slumber was awoken by a sickening feeling.
The kind that starts deep from within, forever attempting to do a Pru Hart around you.
What would maketh the mighty Eater feel such violent pain. What could move him in such a way he appears to act as child.
Be it a Demon of past time, a Necromancer, a bringer of Evil.......What has become of this once bright place......................................................
Twas once the Burgers let his customery scream from under thy pool table that all became clear.....

" Oh shit I crapped myself" came the gutted child like cry from under the table....Look at the door.

An eerie shadow appeared. A Long Dark Cloak drenched in the blood of Virgins and a wide brimed hat covering the face face of evil.
At that point a strange silence befelled the Inn, an ice like calm came over all. With wind howling from a desolate plain and the moon at full light above, there in the door way stood a shadow, a shadow of fear.

From the depths of the Eaters blackened heart came a strange realisation, mixed with pain and fear.

Aggghhhh FUCK says the Lord Eater, it's the craZyone......

From the act of recognition and with the power of a thousand lost souls and the volume of 100 valkyries came that mighty roar from the door.
Eater ya old bastard pour us a Rum mate...

Gripping the ragged splinter that supported EOS latest incarnation of fairy floss the Phoenix paused to look around the bar...
Noting the arrival of the horrific CrazyOne and the ensuing chaos errupting from under the table this relative newcomer decides to keep a low profile for awhile..
Taking a long slow lick of the crystalised fairy the fiery creature is pleasantly surprised....mmm peaches
Then the everlasting debate that forever surrounds the consumption of exotic confectionary
Suck? or Crunch?

biting off one of the tiny fairies sugary gossamer wings the debate is settled

CRUNCH!

Having been out in the world for a bit, Aravi once more enters the bar. He walks over to the bar.

"I have done much and I am tired. May I have a drink and a few moments or mayhaps hours, respite before I return to work."

Aach Nuie cries the craZyone...Eccy Thuump goes the Black Pudding......
Who the hell is the Bar Keep in these here humble lodgings.
Bring me wine, Bring me women and for Odins sake bring me Song....
And while your at it get that Aravi type out of this bar before I puke on thee.....
Lord Eater..Lord Eater awake you dog and bring this cesspit to order or fear it will be burnt to the ground.....

..... a single clear Harmonic Thought, splitting, folding, echoing softly glides past all bar dwellers and centres on Eaters massive form. Its gentle soothing lullaby rapidly changing to a screeching creshendo of sound, racing up and down in pitch finally falling into a Demonic Power Chord of Disharmony.....

Dust falling from Its shaggy brow, the Dark Barman rouses from his extended slumber and cracks one baleful and bloodshot eye open, gazing with growing anger at the Alarm Mote hovering before It. In one blindingly swift movement, Eater sliced through the solidifed sound with Its everpresent Cleaver and parted a corner from its flashing brilliance. Its pitch and tone immediatley changing at the touch of the Blade. Continuing to work with great precision, Eater sliced back and forth across the entire surface of the Mote, its discarded harmonies falling like glitteringsnow towards the ground, vanishing to ether long before they got there.
Standing back on its tail, Eater spoke words of rejuvination into the depleted and much slimmer Mote and it immediatley burst into song, easily carrying full range of emotion of a freed prisoner to all those that heard it. With a casual flick of a talon the Dark Barman bound the Mote to the juke box and turned back to the patrons standing eagerly before It at the Bar.

"Ahhhh, Lord Crazy, rum indeed shall i make for thee in this your hour of need. And young Aravi, again back for a rest an relaxation tipple at my Bar, always welcome." and with that the Dark Barman turned to the massive shelves that rose up into the darkness and scanned its untold vault of folly and mischief.

With a well placed kick of a taloned hoof, Eater brought forth great treasures and assembled them on the bar. With eyes in wide wonderment the other patrons looked on as Eater assembled vile ingredients designed for a single drink in mind. Laying here was a glass bottle of a lightly yellowed liquid that seemed to draw the eye down to its sole indicator of potency, a SoulTwist Rock larvae lay drowned in its depths. Next to that, Bottled Rage Demon Tobasco, potent, deadly, and hotter than the surface of the sun lay spitting and hissing at those who caught its fiery gaze, and looked away in fear. The last bottle was all to familiar in the Bar, rum, but not just any rum, Captain Morgans Spiced rum again made its presence felt through the room.

Witha swift restorative incantation, Eater summoned life anew into the larvae, only to watch it drown again in the toxic liquid surrounding its plated and writhing body. As it drowned the worm released more of its outris essence into the fluid, turning it paler and more captivating to the eye. Swiftly snapping of a Two Talon measure into a fresh CCOPM, Eater poured carefully from the rum bottle to fill the handled mug the rest of the way. Donning its Arcane Overproofed Mittens from Kittens, Eater grabbed the Bottled Demon in one claw and wrestled the top off with the other. As soon as the obsidian cork was removed, the Demon surged upward and out of the bottle, its size rapidly growing until it towered over all in the Bar.

"Again you have summoned me Eater, and again i demand my payment before i give you that wich you seek." the Rage Demon stretched out one taloned hand toward Eater and grinned a horrid cracked fang smile. Sighing slightly at rudness of the Demon, Eater calmly inscribed a summon circle with one talon wreathed in purple flame and spoke the Ancient Words of Portals unto it. Through the growing portal stepped the lithe and butiful form of a Magma Maiden, her glasslike skin easily showing the surging and rippling molten rock flowing and roiling in her body. Seizing the much smaller hand offered up to it, the Rage Demon cackled a hooting reply and raced back into the bottle with its prize.
Imediatley the bottle began to heat at an alarming pace, the Kittens Mittend mewing at the discomfort of trying to hold onto it. With fresh obsidian sweat forming on Its brow, Eater poured two drops from the bottle into the mug and banished the brightening vessel to Caina to cool for a few years. The drops arced down through the mug, bubbling and steaming the contents easily, to lay on the bottom of the crystal glowing like crimson eyes in a see of lit gold. Sliding the freshly made Hells Halitosis down to Crazy, Eater turned back to the mammoth task of creating Aravi a new brew to settle and calm his mind and soul......

Lord Eater...

I trust your slumber has been a pleasant and restful one...
Although for an indestructible being such as yourself, mere weariness should be no more than a slight irritant.

lovely and energising as the ExoticFleesFairyFloss was, i find myself somewhat thirsty...

perhaps you have something for me....

something without a Mallard if you please....

Amused at the turnout of the past few millenia in this here abyssal pub! Lucifer draws his latest conquest and begins to sharpen it. Alas, it is the sword of Kaz!! remaining back in the darkest corner of the tavern Lucifer continues to sharpen his mystical blade and quaff the Hellfire concoction served to him by his trusted companion.

Milenko the dark, crawls from the crevices of the oaken floor.
Patrons stare and ponder the magic that allows this form to emerge.
Dust, stars and wind swirl to combine a form of mystic energies, slowly becoming solid.
The hum dies and a flash of red hell fury slices across the room from the eyes of Milenko.
He scours the bar, seeking a beverage to replenish the energy that was consumed in the epic transformation.

Now how 'bout that drink bartender?

Leonami chuckled from his secluded corner of the bar. The patrons of this forsaken place were queer folk indeed. He had been forgotten in the arrival of hearty, well-known newcomers and this was just the way he liked it. Outside, the tempest did battle with the barren tundra, letting forth the wrath that was heavens fury, desecrating the already element-thrashed lands over and over. As his mind lingered over the eternal tempest, he found himself longing for the battle. It had been an eternity since he had felt that rhythmic flow of adrenaline in his system and he craved the feeling once again. In its sheath, his imbued sword stirred at its master's heightened awareness.

Leonami stood up abruptly, the stone chair grinding the floor as it moved backward to accomodate such rapid movement upward. The dull roar of conversation halted immediately and all eyes were on him. He looked around the bar searchingly, his mind taking in every detail of the mystical bar. Leonami cleared his throat loudly, the rumbling of his scarce used vocal cords feeling coarse like sandpaper. "Let’s liven things up shall we?" he called out, "I challenge any of you hearty fellows to a test of strengths". The bar was suddenly filled once more with the raucous roar of conversation. It seemed to Leonami that his words had taken effect. His voice box rumbled once again and the conversation halted once more. "I propose an arm wrestle"

...again the Bar patrons were assaulted by a powerful Force, all five senses (and a few 6th) screaming urgent signals to thier paralytic cells....

Leaping to Its cloven feet, the Dark Barman parried the Baleful Eye of Milenko with but a Cold Glance, its red glow vanishing to starry motes.

"Something to Invigorate you my Son, something with a bit of pep you say? Yes I have the required drink you seek, but can you suffer its awesome power unto yourself, can you hold it's Fury?"

Milenko's grim nod was Eaters only reply.

Pausing not for an instant at his bold display of power from Milenko, It turned and began a mighty summon once again.

Reaching sideways and muttering few Arcana, Eater split reality and plunged its claw into the heart of a sun, tearing out the organ with contemptuos ease. Ripping Its arm back and sealing the portal as the dying sun spewed forth anger into the cosmos, the Dark Barman turned back to its Hellish work. Squeezing the heart easlit to pulp , Eater poured the life blood into the blender, its flashing light to painful to behold. Pouring in a dash of Cesium Kicker , and a splash of Unobtanium, the Dark barman set the blender to Energise and flicked the switch.
Imediatley the Worldstones normal strong glow flickered briefly and began to take on a noticeably duller sheen , fresh cracks appeared, spidering outward from the blender as it drew in the massive power from the Bar. The blender began to wail a high pitched keening sound as it meshed power with form inside its walls, new realities frothing from its rim . Summonig a Crystal Mug of Immense Preportions, Eater swiftly poured and placed the completed drink before Lord Milenko, life flooding back into the worldstone bar.

"I trust you shall find my Creation of All as revitalising as starting anew"

Tuning to Dragar, Eater rumbled " And im sure that you would be interested to know Lord Vecnar should be dropping by in the near future, best keep that blade under control my Son"

" An epic drink indeed i shall summon for Mistress Inferno, a powerful quaff to bring more, colour to you."

Using the everpresent Dark Cleaver, Eater sliced out and tore dimensional boundaries assunder once again, this time to the Plane of Fire. Scattering before him the sylph like forms dived and splashed away through molten pools of iron, seeking shelter from this unwelcome visitor. Cornering one with ease the Dark barman stared into her eyes, seeking the twisting flame within, seizing it in powerful Magic. Uttering but a simple word of Power, a surging blush rushed quickly to cheeks of the trembling form, eyes averted in shameful lust it began to aprroach closer to the hulking scaled form of Eater. Offering up its lips in supplication, the Magma Maiden stood gently on tip toes to get closer to its goal.
With surging frenzy the Eater beheaded the beutiful body in one swift blow, its speed so swift as to leave the maidens face frozen in place, lips poised. Cutting with deft precision, Eater bled the demons Essence into the blender, all colour drianed fromt he fine features. Adding Ninja Tobasco and a slice of Gorgons Jalepeno, the Barman set the device to Invigorate and flicked the switch. Fresh warmth washed outward from the blender, bathing its patrons on wholesome heat, a respite from Darker Storms outside.

Pouring Greatly from a bottle of Rhemorhaz Tears, Eater switched off the blender and poured it down the center of the sparkling clear stream. Filling theCCOPM to the brim, the rosy cloured concoxction screamed in silent bliss, quietening at the reassuring word of the Dark Barman, settling into its cup with quickening ease.

" Indeed an epic drink Miss Phoenix, a Magma Maidens Blush, fresh from the Bar"

"And now for the ever patient Aravi, a drink to cause slumber such as only the Gods are blesssed by"

Seizing a bottle of Kahlua, Eater poured a genourous measure into the blender and dropped in a healthy sized piece of chocalate. Adding a mere splash of milk the Barman sent the the blender to slightly frothy and pulsed the mix for several beats. Floating two cubes of ice in Drambui, Eater poured the mix over them gently and presented the Poleaxer to the bemused Aravi. Dropping in two straws, the Dark barman turned slightly and swept it eyes around the Bar.

Seeing Leonami clear a place for a test of strength, Eaters smiled slighlty , fangtips barely concealed.
"Grinder, it appears that someone wishes to challenge you again for your rightful place as bouncer in this establishment."
A piece of darker looking wall detached itself and lumbered over to Leonami, its form becoming visible as it stepped from the shadows. Easily topping eleven feet tall the bouncer known only as Grinder sat before the trembling form of Leonami as he cowered in the presence of utter massiveness. The ugly granite looking head split to reveal cracked and blackened teeth and a drooling smile, with a voice like gravel on record player the giant spoke.
"Me likes a good wrestlin, likes it good"
Dropping one long limb, knotted with muscles and glittering with embedded stone chips onto the table with a thud the Rock Ogre looked down at its adversary.
Tunrning from the ensuing screams the Dark Barman pasued briefly to look at Aravi as the soporific agents in the drink took a hold of his body, and smashed it to oblivion. Sliding gently from his stool to the ground, his body curled up to foetal position and bore the look of bliss. With a wave of his claw Eater banished him to one of the many Down Time pallets it has secreted throughout the multiverse.

Its job now done the Dark Barman again took his place behind the ancient bar and waited till next Its patrons would summon him. Its mind free again to wander All That Is.........

The door BURSTS open as the allmighty spamtard K_I_Z_A walks in. wearing a singlet, stubbies and those good quality doubleplugers. strolls waveringly to the bar. oblivious to the strange bartender's form, says in a drunken slur "bartender do your worsth, and dont be like thosth cheap bartendersth back home, hit me hard" and with a simultaneous burp and fart plonks himself down on the barstool and begins to mutter some incoherrent mantra. (or maybe he was just talking to himself).......

Opening her gleaming bright eyes and noting the sticky remnants of the MagmaMaidensBlush settled in the botton of its crystal cup, a little of its warmth-inducing blend still potent enough to lend a tiny bit of warmth to the surrounding air. The newly awakened Inferno contemplates the oddly muted variety of forms congregated in Eaters bar...
somehow the life seemed to have seeped away from them like the slow fading of an old memory. The edges of reality around the already shadowed walls fraying and blurring as the minds and souls of its inhabitants were drawn away to other worlds, other bodies, other worries and concerns. Only the slumbering form of the everpresent dark bartender remained solid and immovable..untouched by times decay. Heavy dust had settled along the surface of the worldstone slab, filling the many crevices and scars collected after years of abuse by the cleaver.
Odd skittery tracks were faintly visible in the dust, as if small creatures had been infiltrating slowly in the quiet and were becoming emboldened now with the lack of movement around them.
Cobwebs hung from the top shelf liquor, dry and filled with ancient spiders, too old and weary to bother eating the flies and gnats that had blundered into their lairs an eon ago.
Troubled by the slow leeching of reality and creeping decay surrounding the bar's nexus, Phoenix summons a small spell.. Incanting under her breath, feeling the chill air congealing around her mouth, smothering the words, attempting to keep the magic at bay.
Struggling to force the spell through the miasma, the phoenix drew on the strength of Eaters own reality..pouring out a sliver of light, a tiny inferno all on its own it danced and bobbed its way along the worldstone bar, leaving its own trail through the dust. Fluttering and nearly guttering in the cold room the tiny flame crept up EOS long arm, scaling along plate and talon till it reached his shoulder..scampering up onto his ear, balancing tentatively least he stir in his sleep and snuff its life before it could complete is mission. Dancing across onto the bridge of his nose, it slowly started to glow brighter, hotter, not burning but becoming incandescent, its light penetrating under the Barmans heavy lids. Forcing him towards wakefullness, drawing him back to the bar to set all to rights...

Twas from under the darkened brow it came, from beneath the peak of his blood stained hat, from the lips of the body once human.
The sound of desolation the fear of retribution the sense of FEAR.
.........BBBBBUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP............RRRRRPPPP.....RRRRPPP.
Eater.....Eater.....EEEAAAAAATTTTEEEERRRR, arise you dog. Face that what you fear most, face not your equal but your better you dog of hell.
I bring you sad tidings oh noble one. A message that is sure to bring fear into your lifeless soul. Arise and face thee.
With that the once mighty Eater rose to face his messenger.
"craZy what is it thy brings that would bring me such fear, what is it that makes the Eater walk......................

ROAD TRIP.....ROAD TRIP.....ROAD TRIP.

Lord Fleshy has opened his Bar for those of immortality..Lets hit the road.......

With a sad and frightened look the eater and the craZyone arose in unison and moved towards the door, only to smack Aravi over the head once more.
The remaining patrons of the Bar watched as the two behemoths travelled off into the dark of night to begin the sequel to lord Eaters Bar...

WEEKEND AT FLESHY's

...for an agless time the Bar sat gathering dust and thirsty patrons, eager to drink a mighty Eater brew, all eyes on the swinging door awaiting the return of the Dark Barman. In the corners, demon imps, emboldened by the lack of a slashing painful death at Eaters absence, beagn to crawl and caper along the Bartop in gleeful motions.

Barely heard, a rumble of thunder crawled lazily to thier ears, but the rumble did not fade away, but grew. More thunderous sounds could be heard, gathering toghether and multiplying, the noise washing over all in the Bar, jars and bottles tinkliong on the shelves. Rushing to the door to see the comotion, several patrons stared with slack jaws at the sight that greeted them.

At a speed that confused the senses, a golden streak arced across the frozen wasteland outside of the Bars reality, great clouds of confusion rising behind it. Quickly Milenko flipped up his MultiOpticPupilOptomy Shades and scanned the object, its red beam flicking out and caressing the speeding object easily even at this range. Increasing the gain and resoultion, Milenko began to grin as the golden streak revealed itself as a golden chariot, engine leaping from its bonnet, tires mear black bands on huge rims, and the glint of chrome everywhere.

"Tis the chariot of Monkey, fresh back from crusades against the foul Orketh. It appears he has done a few modifications since last he visited"

Casting his enhanced gaze to the driver the grin spread even further, tearing into a great smile, as the driver came into clearer view. Gauntleted hands clenched tight on the wheel, arms rock steady guiding the beast, and a maniacal grin such the likes even Jack the Ripper would be scared of, Lord Monkey piloted his land missile towards the Bar.

Phonix Inferno, once again garbed in long cloak, trembled slightly as a pressure wave of arcane energy washed over her feathered form. Another wave of energy, stronger, rippled outward from the inbound chariot, even arcane muted feeling its crackling passage.

"It's coming back" was all she could say

Miklenko switched to an enhanced Mage Vision plugin for the Shades, and peered deeper into the tinted chariot windows, trying to decipher if the prediction was true. With a great flare, an explosion of blinding energy lept out in all directiond form the chariot, great pulses of charged ether rolling out across the plains towards the small crowd gathered outside the bar. Winding the gain down on his specs, Milenko let the energy wash over him, revitalising and pure, and awaited The Return Of The Eater.

Wait, I think I missed something...

Do you actualy own a bar, or is this just an elaborate cheesy story?

Blashyrkh suddenly realised that all eyes were turning to him, several patrons blocking all exits, and a piece of wall had detached itself from the Worldstone and was moving toward him. With a voice like granite being pulverised, Grinder, the bouncer uttered the most words it had ever spoken

"Er me think you not read other pages, not get into spirit of bar. You get in spirit, or Grinder make you not here anymore"

With that the giant Troll moved back to its position next to the doors and awaited the return of its Lord and Master.

As quiet once again returns to the bar a buzz can be felt in the air.

That buzz slowly grows and becomes louder, stronger, longer. The room begins to shake, even the bar-top rattling on its massive foundations. People sitting on stools only manage to keep upright with a large amount of effort. As this almighty vibration and noise reaches a cresendo, it suddenly stops. As the air stops vibrating some thing can be smelt. The smell grows. Eyes begin to water. People scream and run from the bar.

From a dark corner, a quiet voice is heard. "'scuse me."

mentasm pulls his hat back down over his eyes, and returns to his slumber.

Staggering and falling over each other, the few remaining patrons fled the onslaught of Mentasm's overwhelming stench summoning, bursting out the swinging doors to gulp in fresh lungfuls of air. Expelling small counter odours, the Imps continued thier frenzied dancing on the bartop, revelling in the sheer joy of mayhem in The Bar.

The small crowd outside the bar peered and squinted out across the plains, trying in vain to see the hurtling gold chariot as it slipped in and out of reality such was its speed. With each brief glimpse of Monkeys Beast Machine, a new pulse of eldritch energy washed over the patrons raising the hair on thier scalps, and increasing thier need for a drink. Phoenix Inferno shivered again and a fresh burst of heat washed out from under her cloak, The Dark Barman was getting closer. Turning to the Mighty Milenko, Phoenix asked
"Is there anyone else in the chariot, i sense a warped presence, a feeling of madness growing from the chariots direction"
With a slight grunt Milenko flipped the shades back down and scanned the flickering vehicle with a more intense gaze. Winding the gain as high as he dared, Milenko applied several filters to his vision and peered through the heavy tint and into the rear seat of the beast. Greeting his vision was a swirling miasma of dark cloud and pulsing energy, a maelstrom of madness, deeper than Hell itself. A glint from the cloud revealed itself as a single bloodshot eye, below it a flashing grin, a rictus of insanity.
"There is something else in there with Eater, somethign not quite human, and all the way insane"
The crowd murmured at the news and began a hushed debate as to who could be trapped in the chariot with Eater and Monkey, who would dare, who would be Crazy enough....

Silently standing beside the still concentrating form of Milenko the Phoenix held a deep breath in check. Who in all the realities would be enough of a lunatic to surrender to a road trip with The Lords Monkey and Eater....
Alone they represented enough of a challenge to the sanity of ordinary beings..together the fabric of the world began to bulge alarmingly..most often in protest at the massive amounts of flammable liquid likely to be found in their mutual possession.
Ozone crackling at their approach, the patrons of the bar continued to squint at the reality hopping golden chariot..growing more and more alarmed at the speed of its approach towards the tightly packed crowd. Soon they would be ontop of them...
The Bar's imp population were now franticly carousing...abandoned to the sheer maddening noise and crushing force of the approaching Giants of this world...
Trembling mightily as wave after wave of energy lashed her hypersensitive form the Phoenix could do nothing, only wait for the chariot to arrive and disgorge its passengers..the local bar population continued to huddle as sheep, unaware of the impending inebriation bearing down upon them....

The giants

Biggs, who had been hiding in the dark shadows in the corner, let out a blood curdling scream. :o :o :o :o

.......Biggs........Biggss no...... Not my Hotplatium Infernus.... you fool the power...is too much....

*mumbles the sleeping giant in the rear of the chariot*