Special high intensity training (shit)
TO : ALL EMPLOYEES
RE : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
DATE : 31 JANUARY 2004
Please be advised that you have been invited to attend the "SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING" (S.H.I.T.) program which will enable you to attain the highest levels of work quality and productivity in the IT industry. It is our primary objective to equip all employees with more S.H.I.T. than anyone else in the industry.
Employees who have previously undergone this program and are already full of S.H.I.T. are qualified to train others on the basic rudiments of the program called "BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING PROGRAM" (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). For details, please see :
DIRECTOR of INTENSITY PROGRAMMING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.)
Please be warned that any employee who fails to S.H.I.T. will be automatically placed on "DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION & PROBATION of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING PROGRAM" (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.)
Furthermore, any employee who fails to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to take the one month comprehensive course on "EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING" (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
Should you require clarifications on this matter, please direct them to :
HEAD OF TRAINING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( H.O.T.S.H.I.T. )
For your compliance.
Boss-in-General, Special High Intensity Training ( B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)