I pity the fool

Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.

Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.

Mr T. is in fact 120 feet tall, breathes fire, and pisses liquid gold. but since no human on earth can comprehend his awsomeness, he formed a man out of gold, rock, and c-4 explosives to pity us all.

Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.

The reason there are no known photographs in existence of a young Mr. T is that he is over 835 years old, and therefore pre-dates cameras. His age is attributed to Death being too scared of Mr. T to come for him. He tried once, but was pitied like a fool, so went looking instead for the next 'T' in his book, Thomas Beckett.

Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they're cute and don't take up much room.

Mr.T actually came up with the theory of relavity, Einstein merely stole it from him. Although originaly this was called Mr.T's theory of relative pity, Einstein in fact mistranslated it into 'jibba jabba'

Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.

As a kid, Mr. T loved to play the game of Hot Potato. Of course, he didn't play with a regular potato. Rather, Mr. T preferred playing with a live hand grenade. Mr. T pities the fool who's no good at hot potato.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.

A random onlooker once taunted Mr. T. Mr. T responed by hitting the man so hard that both his parents died.

If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.

Mr. T's umbilical cord was actually a large gold chain... the medallion didn't grow in until he was 6 months old.

Mr. T, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris only met once. This was the same day that the dinosaurs went extinct. They have been kept apart ever since.

Sometimes, it is said, that when you hold a gold chain to your ear you can hear the screams of all the fool's souls that Mr.T has pittied to death.

Mr. T's autobiography, "So Many Fools, Not Enough Pity," was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for its heartwarming and inspiring tales of Mr. T overcoming his fear of flying, and his battle with gold-addiction--as well the sweet tutorial on how to install machine-gun turrets on top of a GMC van using a welding torch, a 55-gallon drum, chicken wire, and skim milk.

The chain around Mr. T's neck is not made of just gold. It's really made of Chuck Norris' semen, which is, in fact, gold.

Mr. T defeated cancer by pitying it into submission. Consequently the first mohawked antibodies were discovered by doctors, but are too helluva tough to be injected into mortals.

When Mr. T puts on his dancing shoes, you better f-ing run.

When asked what a pitying feels like, Mr. T responded "Rip off your own genetalia".

Mr T. can fly, or rather levitate, by the simple act of pitying gravity into submission.

God didn't create the world, he only drew the blue prints. Mr. T built the world with his bare hands, an acetylene torch and a 55 gallon drum.

The last time Mr. T uttered the words, "I pity the fool", a man in Colorado suddenly died for no reason.

Mr. T's show "T and T" was so popular that studio executives had to take it off the air, as not to overshadow all other shows. As an attempt to distract from Mr. T's popularity, Steve Urkel was born.

Mr. T is an avid pog collector. The only time someone had ever collected a pog from Mr. T, Mr. T retaliated by collecting his head.

According to Mr. T, Jibba Jabba is the official language of 99.9% of the world's population .

I mean, it's funny.. but Eddy Murphey impersonations FTW :p

That's farken hilarious.:D :D :D

I pity the fools not old enough to remember......

If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode

Indeed :)

LOL nice find

Quote:
A random onlooker once taunted Mr. T. Mr. T responed by hitting the man so hard that both his parents died.

If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.

ROFL

I like this one better than the Chuck Norris one :p

Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.

lmao...these things are so ****ing funny, the two that rec quoted would have to be the best. ever.

Random Facts About Mr. T

1. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
2. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
3. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
4. When he found out he would lose the rematch while making Rocky III, Mr. T administered to Sylvester Stallone an angy look. Seeing Mr. T's anger broke every bone in Sly's face, left him mildly retarded and unable to remember the incident. To this day, Sly has no idea why he shits his pants at the mere sight of a black man with a mohawk.
5. You can lead Mr. T to water, but chances are that you will die there.
6. Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
7. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
8. Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
9. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
10. Mr. T pities fools because even fools deserves their daily dose of vitamin T.
11. On the A-team, Face , Haniabal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.
12. All that glitters is not gold: If it's not being worn by Mr. T, then it's just jibba jabba, and Mr. T pities the fool who can't tell the difference. This is where the phrase "fool's gold" comes from.
13. Mr. T coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
14. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.
15. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.
16. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
17. Like King Midas, everything Mr. T touches turns to gold, even food. Unlike King Midas, Mr. T has learned to ingest gold, like a real man would.
18. Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
19. Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.
20. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.
21. Mr. T pities the fool who doesn't pity the fool, thus creating a neverending loop of pity and pain.
22. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.
23. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.
24. Mr. T does not know you personally, but the odds are 7 in 10 that he pities you.
25. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him.
26. Despite popular belief, Mr. T in fact ended the civil rights movement by getting on a bus....all caucasian people moved to the back.
27. Mr. T once bit off more than he could chew. He ate it anyway.
28. A break in the space-time continuum occurred on July 9th, 1986. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy into Mr. T while he was pitying some fool. Mr. T and Chuck Norris had words (better known as jibba jabba). Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the exact moment Mr. T punched him in the chest. The result was an alternate universe where Mr. T roundhouse kicks people and Chuck Norris pities fools.
29. Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.
30. Mr. T does not have to kick the crap out of you, crap runs out of your ass in fright when you come into contact with Mr. T.

Mr. T once stated that he "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Mr. T was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.

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