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A thread to discuss the films that would likely be a waste of your time. ;)
Green Zone (Matt Damon):
Just switched it off after 17 minutes. The poorly scripted dialogue and clearly Matt-centric direction this was headed was enough to end it early. Also, I didn't mind the camera work on the Bourne movies, even the last one... but this was indeed migraine-cam. Avoid.
Robin Hood
some people might really stone me to death with this
but
PREDATORS
i loved the original films (yes even number 2)
hated the avp series
this was supposed to be a comeback.
insults your damn intelligence tho...
starts out ok, with some nostalgia.
then descends to stupidty beyond stupid
didnt have any real issue with predators - i found it really enjoyable because it was exactly what the first one was: an alien huntfest in a jungle - if you were looking for more you went to the wrong movie :P
Funny, I was having a conversation about terrible movies about 2 minutes before i looked at this thread.
My top two picks in order:
Nick of Time.
Any Given Sunday.
From Paris From Love (John Travolta).
Easily one of the very worst films I can remember seeing. It tops Transporter 3, and even The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008 remake).
Poorly shot, poorly scripted and lacking originality to the nth degree. Wholly and absolutely fucking terrible. Jonathan Rhys Meyers was particularly face-palm worthy, what a terrible co-star, and an all-round terrible actor.
Fuck. I can't believe I just wasted 93 minutes of my life. I need to wash my eyes out with sandstone and bleach. Fuuuck.
Any Australian film since the eighties.
Quote from Harbinger;387785:
Any Australian film since the eighties.
Fail.
The Castle.. Made 1997.. Fantastic aussie movie
Two Hands.. made 1999.. Great aussie movie.
Quote from lrinaldi;387796:
Fail.
The Castle.. Made 1997.. Fantastic aussie movie
Two Hands.. made 1999.. Great aussie movie.
Fat Pizza 2003.
:p how about we keep it to modern movies (eg within past 5 years) ...
Anyways for me I thought the Green Zone was good, though you needed to watch more then 17 miinutes to understand the movie and like Inception it does take its time to get into the movie.
So a movie to stay away from would be:
Any dance movies (Step Up, Save the Last Dance and so forth)
Killers (new)
No, you're right, Green Zone was good. Indicated by the 55% review average. :P
rec ;) are you suggesting you only watch movies based on reviews?
Quote from lrinaldi;387796:
Fail.
The Castle.. Made 1997.. Fantastic aussie movie
Two Hands.. made 1999.. Great aussie movie.
There are always exceptions to any rule.
However those two aren't.
The Castle is so, so fucking win.
And no Chycophy - I'm suggesting that the average of hundreds of reviews is generally a reasonable indication of the film's quality. At least, in my experience it has been.
Perhaps I should have paid attention to the 36% average for From Paris With Love before watching. :P
Just a few I’ve watched recently thanks to the girly.
Anacondas 3 and 4
Raging Sharks (don’t even get me started on this movie..... AVOIDE AT ALL COSTS)
Iron man 2
Iron Man 2 sucked so hard.
I watched Salt last week - rubbish, and I watched Ghost Writer last night. Good acting, but disappointing film. I'm sure others would like it.
I didn't mind Salt at all but found The Ghost Writer to be very overrated. It was slow and had little progression once the premise was set up. In the end the finale completely spoiled it for me.
THE KING OF FIGHTERS
BEST MOVIE EVER
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yigs_O3RI4&feature=player_embedded]
Did he kick her in the box toward the end there?
"Skyline"
This isn't out yet, but I'm calling it now. It looks like a TV movie brought to the big screen. Lame, awful, an embarrassment - coin it however you like, it's not going to be good.
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDJfue-Aanw]
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rtqUy34Tjk]
The teaser trailer looked infinitely better than the extended one.
That's why you never pay attention to teaser trailers. The last time I made that mistake was Robocop 3. :P
But even this teaser trailer was uber lame.
robocop 3 was awesome! cyborgs with jetpacks!! <--- or so their writing department believed ;)
Looks terrible. A movie full of TV actors. Awesome. :\
You know it's going to be shit when this is an example of their social marketing for the film:
Quote:
SkylineNov12th Skyline
#blackops #Skyline is the perfect movie to watch after you play COD Black! In theaters this Friday Skyline Movie Official Site - iamROGUE.com
I want to vomit.
i've been roped into watching it tomorrow night... the latest snippet released looks.. well.. TV Movieish like the monster chasing the live-action Brink character bloke around the building top - the critter just doesnt look terribly detailed - and then complete disregard for physics with the plane crashing right next to them. I have very low expectations :/
ROFL and i just saw the initial plot point in one of the trailers "In 2009 NASA sent a message into space, further than we ever thought possible" .... sounds like these aliens are From Beyond Space! (cue 50's reveal music).
Even Korny said it's a steaming pile of shit. And given how easily he is entertained, that's a worry.
worse than that, watching it at the CBD cinema ><
well, knowing it was gonna be utter shit, it was enjoyable as we bagged it out. effects were pretty decent (although they've clearly never seen what happens as a plane crashes). acting wasn't bad on the part of all the stereotypical roles. the aliens were cool even while the overall concept was so fucking dumb. oh and there was no fricken plot - on the plus side there was no 40 minutes of making us 'like' the characters - it got straight into it.
it's worth watching on DVD with a bunch of friends round to pay it out :)
i just watched skyline, utter shit.
independence day knock off with the aliens from mass effect and a stupid ending.
The Expendables.
Why did people like this?
because it it awesomeness
Correct.
I recall no such moments of awesomeness. Except the Arnie/Bruce scene.
Awesomeness (as in so crap it was awesome) stopped in early 90s. In 2010, there's no excuses.
It was a dumb, dumb movie. Not even a good action movie. See, John Rambo was "awesome".
i'm going to call you two margaret and david from here on :P
As long as I'm Margaret. David is a poonce.
haha
Black Swan.
Essentially it was a bunch of cliches and obvious symbolism thrown in, with a poor melodramatic script and less than thrilling thriller elements.
Unfortunately, a bunch of pretentious critics at the Venice Film Festival gave it a standing ovation. Not because it's actually good, rather it turned out to be a film as pretentious as they are - it really struck a cord. It helped them assert themselves as more refined, more intelligent, more complex and far deeper. But in truth, under the highly sheened surface, the fi;m was none of those things.
Critics around the world then fell in line with mighty reviews, in fear of looking less refined or less intelligent than the wealthy, important, hallow audience at the Venice Film Festival that they so sorely aspire to be.
Thankfully, the tide of amazing reviews is beginning to swing, with the aggregated review average falling from well above 90% to 88% at Rotten Tomatoes. So there are people with balls out there with balls.
Here are some choice snippets that help sum up my hatred for the film:
Quote:
The film seems concerned with giving the appearance of drama rather than actually sweeping us up in it.
Quote:
Aronofsky must have hypnotic powers over jurors and voters.
Quote:
Works best as a bit of tongue-in-cheek high camp.
Quote:
It's high-art trash
Quote:
Being different isn't the same thing as being good.
annnnnd finally rec understands reviews mean shit :P
Aggregated review averages almost always deliver a reasonable indication of whether a movie is worth seeing or not.
This was an exception, in my opinion.
Easy A.
I liked it.
Fag. :P
Apollo 18 - does not look the business.
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGFNJdTpkMU&hd=1]
What are you talking about? Apollo 18 was fucking awesome!
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q_XGWufXVg]
yeah, doesn't look like it's translated well to the big screen - bloody pisspoor computer game adaptations.. I dunno...
A Serious Man (2009) - IMDb
An older movie i was looking forward to watching due to raving reviews on its thought provoking story, and its ability to silently but gradually draw you in.
i cant remember a more boring movie, don't get me wrong i started to enjoy it about half way, but i felt that as it started to get into its groove and started making me take notice and to actually think about the concept of what the creators of the movie wanted the audience to think about, it just died off and became mundane....
Yep, I actually stopped it about an hour in. So much potential, ended up being shit.
The Adjustment Bureau - more fail from Matt Damon.
A romantic's Matrix with more style than substance, where even the style is bitterly disappointing. Worst of all, you're left hanging in anticipation for 60 minutes, even 80 minutes, where you think it may still deliver something surprisingly rewarding - but that's when it falls entirely flat and you're left feeling little but angst and frustration. What a waste of my time.
See I found that a pretty good way to kill 90 odd minutes of a 15 hour flight.
Context is important.
I'd watch pretty much anything on a 15 hour flight. Point in case: that new Karate Kid movie.
Sucker Punch and the Battle for Los Angeles
crap crap crap crap
Battle for LA had a lot of promise (from the previews) and fell so, so flat.
Sucker Punch I enjoyed, because it was exactly what I was expecting. Short skirts, out of context and over the top action sequences, with a secondary story line.
pre-emptive strike on the new spiderman movie:
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqwaxJw6JP8&hd=1]
hollywood needs to get the message reboots are not fun, nobody gives a shit if there are 8 year olds that haven't seen the first sam raimi one. also "oh hai, i got CG in your scene" - for their sakes, i hope that's just test render footage.
DIDN'T WE JUST DO THIS YOU FUCKHEADS?
Best reboot ever was The Hulk, which was right after that other Hulk reboot... Both of which sucked.
not batman begins?
Horrible Bosses. Is horrible.
Really? I heard it was good :(
Hanna
Quote from Ritzo90;402261:
Hanna
incorrect.
Hanna was a good movie.
The acting was really bad on the girls behalf, the camera work made me feel like I had turned to SBS and the batteries in the remote had died, the storey it self was shallow, and it was far to drawn out. I almost turned it off, and I should have but I saw people rate it high.
I liked Horrible bosses and Hanna too. I have no idea what the hell you thought was wrong with the girls performance Ritzo, I thought she was good.
Each to their own.
Hanna was great. Predicable and unoriginal story, but still an enjoyable one. Cinematography, acting and soundtrack were first class.
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Quote from rec;402258:
Horrible Bosses. Is horrible.
Watched it - and yeah it was pretty bad.
Had some funny moments though; and it's worth watching just to hear Jennifer Anniston talk about fingering herself. :p
Bad teacher.
Watched this last night only laughed once and it was more a chuckle than a laugh, Cameron Diaz is looking her age as well.
I'd still hit that in front of my wife.
What, like an orgy beating?
If that's what she was in to, sure.
Quote from ResLo;403239:
Jury is out....
Without Men Official Trailer - YouTube
Jury is in. It's terrible.
/delete movie when get home.
[Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKSNaWvPmVM&feature=player_embedded]
donno about this one..
youtube still of that was all you needed to know it's shit - fatguy dodgy dancing. miss it.
Drive, worst let down of the year given its critical acclaim.
Catch .44
Tarantino try-hard, which falls far, far short.
The Three Musketeers (2011).
I know I shouldn't be surprised when shit like this gets remade every decade; but holy fuck is this one bad.
They've butchered the fucking story beyond recognition.
That said; i would LOVE to watch this movie with Harb. Just to see his disbelief when certain things happen. Like the French building an air-ship in 5 days without any designs (complete with steam-punk crossbows, Gatling cannons and flame-throwers). Or other ridiculous shit, like Milla Jovavich's acting.
Someone hook a generator up to Dumas' spinning corpse, stat.
Went and saw Chronicle tonight.
I am disappoint.
Quote from Milenko;405161:
Went and saw Chronicle tonight.
I am disappoint.
Whys tht. The trailer looks awesome
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It had a lot of potential.
Unfortunately they just decided to make it a 'handy-cam daily video log' about a token black guy, a nerd/jock and an angsty teen who get super-powers. They don't even do anything exciting with it.
Just got back from seeing John Carter.
Pretty terrible.
I wouldn't say it was bad though... more or less just fluff. I enjoyed it, but I honestly didn't go in with huge expectations, graphically it was pretty good. Movie wise it had a fairly solid plot (though based on pretty flimsy physics and realities) but then life on mars of the variety they were getting at is a pretty big stretch.
My advice would be don't go in expecting it to be Iron Man, but it's hardly a Phantom Menace.
I thought the story was shocking. A-typical commoner marries princess, while befriending native savages fairy-tale.
That in itself isn't a bad thing - but combine it with shitty acting (Lynn Collins' performance was actually decent) and the focus shifting to irrelevant pieces of the plot (nearly walked out when she started whining why she ran away from home in the desert); rather than explaining the mysterious energy sources, or religious mythology or even racial histories and you end up with a fucking disaster of a narrative. They spent, what, 20-25 minutes purely setting up a plot device to let Dejah believe he's from Earth?
The only redeeming feature about that movie is the visuals (except for the physics - the leaping is retarded) and Lynn Collins (she is exceptionally stunning in this film). And don't get me started on that penis-head dog thing.
I also never understand why they insist on having a plot twist if they give it away in the first 10 minutes of the movie. (Ie, reading from the fucking Journal).
Phantom Menace was better, imo. At least it had light-sabres.
Young Adult - probably not a bad movie, but it was marketed as romantic comedy and written by the same woman that wrote Juno so expectations were high. Unfortunately the humour was minimal, and the main character (Charlize Theron) was mostly unlikeable.
It was interesting in and of itself, but yeah, I'm putting it here because it wasn't what was advertised.
Yeah it was really not good. I found very little humour and was expecting it to get better at any minute, only it didn't and instead descended into the main character self imploding.
Quote from Milenko;405818:
I thought the story was shocking. A-typical commoner marries princess, while befriending native savages fairy-tale.
That in itself isn't a bad thing - but combine it with shitty acting (Lynn Collins' performance was actually decent) and the focus shifting to irrelevant pieces of the plot (nearly walked out when she started whining why she ran away from home in the desert); rather than explaining the mysterious energy sources, or religious mythology or even racial histories and you end up with a fucking disaster of a narrative. They spent, what, 20-25 minutes purely setting up a plot device to let Dejah believe he's from Earth?
The only redeeming feature about that movie is the visuals (except for the physics - the leaping is retarded) and Lynn Collins (she is exceptionally stunning in this film). And don't get me started on that penis-head dog thing.
I also never understand why they insist on having a plot twist if they give it away in the first 10 minutes of the movie. (Ie, reading from the fucking Journal).
Phantom Menace was better, imo. At least it had light-sabres.
Disney film. And don't you be dissin penis dog. He was awesome.
Quote from ResLo;405994:
Yeah it was really not good. I found very little humour and was expecting it to get better at any minute, only it didn't and instead descended into the main character self imploding.
I thought for sure, at the culmination of the baby naming ceremony, that it was all going to turn around, but nope
[hide=spoiler]off to shag the fat man and achieve nothing instead[/hide]
Watched 'One for the Money' last night... worst story/editing I've ever experienced. I don't know if the film editor, the director or writer is the blame for the disjointed cut scenes scattered about this film but its really bad.
Back to the film itself, not even a naked Katherine Heigel with sideboob can save this turkey... 3/10.
Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aliens? | PopWatch | EW.com
Hunger Games was alright; but the ending fucking sucked.
I actually thought it was good, but felt the ending was a little rushed but think it will fit in with what I've read in the synopses of the other two stories.
If I were to pick on anything in it, and I'm quick to in this instance, it's the shaky cam business they have going on particularly in the first 1/2 hour. It was entirely too exaggerated and the problem was it set an impression that it didn't deserve right from the get go.
It's the first time I've recommended sitting at the back of the theatre it's so bad, and I'm not the only one to notice it either.
Battleship...
You like CGI & explosions! and tugging of american pride & now that I think about it, US ships fired 1st the aliens were only defending them self.
1 star outta five
I concur...
If you want to watch a visually good movie go see Battleships at the cinemas ...
If you want a very good story line then don't watch it.
The aliens in this movie and the directors use of their intellect makes it a good type of intellectual aliens.
Battleship - From Hasbro, the people who brought you Transformers....
That's the byline, you could have deduced everything about it from that.
Adding 'The Darkest Hour'
So Im in Russia Weird shit happens.. have some Vodka get screwed in a business deal and wind up at a Bar when Aliens attack.. oh wait 'invisible' extraterrestrial. Plot holes and shit ending that leads you to believe in a sequel.. lets hope not... Comrades this is a miss.
Priest with a shotgun, if the names not enough to deter you and you feel like your going to sit down and numb your brain with this movie, think again. Based on an American guy who is saving kids from Kony.
It's long and painfull.
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Quote from Ritzo90;406396:
Priest with a shotgun, if the names not enough to deter you and you feel like your going to sit down and numb your brain with this movie, think again. Based on an American guy who is saving kids from Kony.
It's long and painfull.
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Surely you mean Machine Gun Preacher?
I was going to give this one a go when I had time - is it that bad?
Lol sorry yeah, I was just reading a review on hobo with a shotgun lol. Maybe a sequel :p
Edit: and yes that bad. Though some people will disagree, my mother would be one.
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I didn't mind Machine Gun Preacher; but I have a man-crush on Gerard Butler.