Keep this in mind [Image: http://www.fordlaser.com/forum/files/bad_day.jpg]
This one is for SBSP (just jokes buddy :P )
A young guy is speeding across a bridge in his fancy sports car. Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the bridge. The cop pulls him over, then walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's the hurry?" The guy replies, "I'm late for work, officer." "What do you do?" "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher." "What? A rectum stretcher?" The guy explains, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two fingers... eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly stretch it until it's about six feet wide." The curious cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?" The guy answers, "Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge."