post your silly little jokes
no big long story ones
urrmm GO
Silly Little Jokes
Page 1 of 4; 375 public posts in this discussion.
Post 2
did u hear about the blonde sky diver?
she missed the earth
Post 3
What did the goldfish say when it hit the brick wall...
Dam.... Ba-dum-dum CHING!!!
Post 4
You're worse then SWAT Commander at telling jokes.
Post 5
KNOCK KNOCK
whose there?
IPE
Ipe WHo (ipoo)
hahahaha
Post 6
Quote from Evil:
You're worse then SWAT Commander at telling jokes. Just because you don’t understand the joke you don’t have to hijack a thread and spam your nonsense. This is for jokes only not comments.
Post 7
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop
Post 8
Two cows in a field:
Cow#1: Moooooo!
Cow#2: **** you man, i was about to say that
Two Cows in a field:
Cow#1: I really hope i dont get mad cows disease
Cow#2: Well, i KNOW i wont get it
Cow#1: How come?
Cow#2: Caus im a helicopter.
Post 9
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...
Post 10
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
Post 11
Q. What's orange and sounds like a parrot
A. A carrot
Post 12
whats a+b equal
Answer: C
Post 13
Two cows in a feild.
one looks up and says.. "hey look a bird."
the other one says "Holyshit a talking cow!!!"
Post 14
What do you call a three legged Donkey?
A wonky.
Post 15
Quote from Seqo:
What do you call a three legged Donkey?
A wonky. what do you call a one eyed, 3 legged donkey?
a winky wonky donkey
lol i love it
Post 16
Q. what do you call a deer with no eyes??
A. No idea!
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes or no legs??
A. Still no idea
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes no legs and no dick
A. ****ing still no idea
Post 17
How can it **** with no dick?
I think you ****ed it :p
Post 18
Two condoms are walking past a gay bar. One turns to the other and says,
"Wanna get shit-faced?"
Post 19
A. Still no ****ing idea.
Post 20
Q. How many elephants can you fit in a mini?
A. Four, Two in the front and two in the back
Q. How can you tell if an Elephants been in your fridge
A. There's foot prints in the butter
Q. How can you tell if four Elephants have been in your fridge?
A. Theres a mini parked in your driveway
Post 21
Quote from Knight Of Nih:
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"
bwhwahahahhahahahahahah nice one knighty :)
Post 22
why did the lebanese cross the road?
to bash up the chicken.
why did the fifty lebanese cross the road?
because the chicken was winning.
Post 23
Q) Whats knights idea of telling jokes
A) Rehashing old blonde jokes.
Its funny in a sad way.
Post 24
Q: whats the difference between blue and a crack dealer?
A: blue washes his crack and sells it again :P
lol ok a bit old but funny
Post 25
Q. Why don't Lebanese brides wear their panties at their wedding?
A. To keep the flies off the wedding cake.
Post 26
oh dood
cmon thats ripe :) but good
q. wots worse than ten babies in a bucket?
a. one baby in ten buckets.
q. wots worse than unloading a truck full of babies with a shovel?
a. unloading it with a pitch fork.
Post 27
Man 1: My Dog has no nose
Man 2: My god...how does he smell???
Man 1: TERRIBLE! HO HO HO HO
Post 28
What's small, black and tap's at the window?
A baby in a microwave.
What's blue and sits in the corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
Why couldn't the baby fit through the doorway?
Because it had a javelin through its head.
Post 29
Quote from Seqo:
Why couldn't the baby fit through the doorway?
Because it had a javelin through its head.
rofl. thats harsh.
What do you give a deaf dumb and blind woman with no arms and no legs for christmas?
Cancer.
Post 30
mwhahahaha these are killing me
its even funnier when people **** up telling jokes and milenko corects matt... I mean them :P
Q:Whats better then having sex with a 12 year old chick?
A:Turning them over and pretending they're a 12 year old boy.
Q: Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty seven year olds?
A: theres 20 of them.
Post 31
Q: What did the first lesbian vampire say to the second lesbian vampire
A: Same time next month?
i refer u to this thread
http://www.gamers-underground.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9222
these aint exactly joke, but they from other thread ^ and it hilarious
Understanding Technicians
Stuffed - A description of an item of equipment indicating that it does not work quite as well as when it was new. This situation is not expected to change in the near future.
****ed - Terminally stuffed.
**** me dead - A technical expression meaning that after you have totally stripped an assembly you didn't really need to, you have read the manual to discover a major warning in bold type saying never to touch that part under any circumstances whatsoever, as it requires factory (overseas) realignment.
**** it all - An expression that follows the tinging sound of a miniature spring or circlip bouncing off something on the other side of the room. Unfortunately, you didn't see where it came from, where it went to, and have no idea what it looks like.
****ing bloody **** - An expression used after 2 full days reassembling and mechanical aligning to find that an extremely fundamental part is still sitting under the workshop bench.
Holy bloody shit - The expression used immediately after stripping the thread or hexagon off a small bolt and remembering that it had a left hand thread.
Shit, ****, shit - The technical expression denoting full understanding that the thing you have just dropped into the bowels of the machine is not only critically important to the machines operation, but is completely beyond retrieval.
Shit, shit, shit - Something weighing 400kg is sitting on my finger.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit... - Something hot weighing 400 kg is sitting on my finger.
How the ****... - Often used to indicate that in your opinion the designers of the machine might have done something a bit differently.
Bloody **** - Somebody will have to find a first aid kit.
Holy ****ing shit - This is a 440 volt circuit, and I think I've forgotten to isolate it.
Bugger bloody **** - You see a severed 200 cable wiring harness and reach an immediate understanding of why the equipment rack required extra force to close it.
NOTE: If the word 'Holy' is used in conjunction with this expression, it means that all 200 wires in the harness are the same colour.
****ing damn shit - I have just picked up the wrong end of a soldering iron.
****ing bloody damn - A general phrase indicating minor irritation.
Holy bloody **** - My tie is caught by something being driven by a 200 horsepower motor and I can't reach the power switch.
Bugger, ****, damn - An indication of full acceptance that the final, binding quote given to the customer omitted the "800 parts content of the job.
I don't talk to dorks like you - An expression that initiates many long and meaningful meetings between your management and the customer, where your manager desperately tries to persuade the customer that something you passionately believe in has never entered your head.
If you're such a clever dick, why don't you fix the bloody thing - A phrase which precedes an unusually long period before the next salary increase. Can be effective at getting you on a Customer Relations course.
**** off syphillis face - A phrase used with customers upon being asked how much bloody longer you intend to be.
If you don't like the way I'm ****ing fixing it... - I was taught that a screwdriver also doubles as a cold chisel, a putty knife, a tyre lever, a door jam, a paint stirrer, a big nail, an emergency fuse link, something to lean under the tyre of your managers car, or a tool to wake snoozing apprentices (when sharpened).
Why don't you ****ing buy another one - If you persist in using something built during the Crimean War, of course it will sometimes break down.
Post 32
o, just remeberered this
Q: whats the difference between Michal Jackson and Acne
A: Acne waits 16 years before it comes on your face
Post 33
Whats a test tube babies worst nightmare?
A dingo with a straw...
Post 34
good one inferno
Post 35
Following on from Seqo's sick sick jokes, and i apologise if these are of such baddd baadd taste..
Q: What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A: A paraplegic after a house fire
Q: How do you get a baby off the clothesline?
A: With a shovel
Q: Why did Jenny fall off the swing?
A: She had no arms
Q: Why did Jenny fall off her bike?
A: Because someone threw a fridge at her
:S
Post 36
Quote from Cow:
Q: What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A: A paraplegic after a house fire
bahahahaha. that ones going STRAIGHT to the pool room.
Post 37
What part of vegetables is the hardest to cook?
The wheelchair.
Post 38
Q. What is big and red and eats rocks ?
A. A big Red Rock Eater
Q. What is big and blue and eats rocks ?
A. A big Red Rock Eater with a rock stuck in its throat.
Q. What is big and red and eats sand ?
A. A big Red Rock Eater on a diet.
My kindergarten memories ....
Post 39
Q. What does a blonde and KFC Have in Common?
A. Once you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
A. One's white, made of plastic and dangerous to small children... the other you carry your shopping in.
Post 40
Q. - Whos sig is far too big?
A. - Kiza.
Post 41
How do you know when its bedtime at Michael Jacksons house?
When the big hand touches the little hand..
Post 42
Q: Why couldnt Eric ride the bike?
A: Cause Eric is a fish.
Q: What did one cadle say to the other?
A: Are you going out tonight.
Post 43
wots the difference between fat cat and michael jackson?
fat cat has friends! :)
Post 44
Quote from Knight Of Nih:
Q: Why couldnt Eric ride the bike?
A: Cause Eric is a fish.
Nah... I prefer when Eric falls off the swing...
Q: What's got green fur, four legs and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table
Q: What's white and sits in the middle of a football feild
A: A washing machine
Q: What's white and sits in the corner
A: A naughty Dishwasher
Thats it for now
Post 45
haha funny shit. keep it going.
Post 46
Q: what's white and can't climb trees?
A: a fridge
Post 47
Q: Why did the wog die?
A: Because he was fully sick
Post 48
Q: Why didn't the Cow get raped?
A: HE LIVES TO ****ING FAR AWAY!
Post 49
Quote from Cow:
Q: Why did the wog die?
A: Because he was fully sick LOL loved that
nice cow
Post 50
from where i come from, ashfield... lebs are fairly apparent everywhere so the joke goes something like this
Q) what do you call a leb in hospital
A) a sick ****
Q) what do you call a leb in hospitla with a terminal illness
A) a fully sick ****
Post 51
why cant a blond call 911
she cant find the number 11
Post 52
5 blonds were going to disney land untill they seen a sign that said disney land left
so they went home
Post 53
Quote from SWAT Commander:
why cant a blond call 911
she cant find the number 11
This joke wasn't overly funny in the other joke thread, why post it again here...
Post 54
what to you do if you see an abo with half a head
stop laughing and reload
what would you call the jetsons if they were black
...niggers...
/me waits to be called a racist, i swear there just jokes
what to you tell a woman with two black eyes
nothing she has already been told twice
Post 55
that's taking it a bit far...
Post 56
if you cant laugh at life then what can you laugh at? :)
Post 57
Abos with half their heads blown off and niggers?
Post 58
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
how do you stop a munt drowning?
take your foot of his head!
what do you do if an epileptic is having a fit in a pool?
throw in yer washing!
go the abo jokes hahahaha
Post 59
A guy calls his wife from the emergency room. He tells her that his finger got cut off at the construction site where he works.
"Oh my God!!" cries the woman. "The whole finger?"
"No," replies the guy. "The one next to it!"
a number of people i have sent this joke to havnt got it, if u dont get it ask me :)
Post 60
hahaha
Nice one Knighty, bit dirty, but not that bad :P
Post 61
A son asks his father, "Dad, how
many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
breasts.
In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging
a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
Onions?"
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry"
Post 62
Why did the housewife cross the road?
What the hell was the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
What do you do if your wife's watch breaks?
Nothing, theres a clock on the bloody oven.
Post 63
man1 : y'know my dog can understand 6 word sentences
man2: bullshit i dont believe it
man1: look il show ya *walkes over to his dog, picks it up and throws the dog in the fire*
man1: quick get out of that fire!
Post 64
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples".
Post 65
The correct way to come home drunk!
Two married friends are out drinking one night,
when one turns to the other and says,
"You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking,
I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.
I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
Take my shoes off before I go into the house,
I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom,
stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing
sounds.
I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up,
and yells at me for staying out so late!
His friend looks at him and says
"Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps,
pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush,
throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom,
then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say!,
WHO'S HORNY????!!!"
and she acts like she's sound asleep!
Works Every Time!!!
Post 66
I dont get it knight. lol
Post 67
whats more irritating than a joke without a punchline?
Post 68
^^ Kiza's signature?
What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.
What do you do when you see a fireman?
Put it out, man.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Who cares?
Post 69
Why do women have small feet?
They evolved that way. Lets them stand closer to the sink.
What do you do if a womans watch breaks?
Nothing, theres a clock on the oven.
How many men does it take to change a light bulb in the kitchen?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Choked.
What do you call nuts on a wall?
wallnuts.
What do you call nuts on a Chest?
A mouthful of dick.
Post 70
Quote from Cow:
Q: Why did the wog die?
A: Because he was fully sick
OMFG Hahahaha FTW!!!
Post 71
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers
were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion,
nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a
brazillion?"
Post 72
what three things cant you give an abo?
a black eye, a fat lip & a job.
santa, easter bunny, old drunk man and a port power player were walking down the street and they see a "00 bill. Who picks it up????
the old grunk man because the other three dont exist.
why do Ballerinas wear tights? so they dont stick to the floor when they do the splits.
whats the diffarance between woman and clouds....Nothing eventually they Fcuk off and you have a plesant day.
Post 73
*laughs at cockies jokes*
Post 74
What has 3 cylinders and lives in a french bell tower?
The Hatchback of Notre Dame :D
Post 75
Billy was at school this morning in the outback and the teacher asked
all the children what there fathers did for a living. All the typical
answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, Captain of
Industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the
teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good,
he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with
him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little
Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too
embarrassed to say."
Post 76
Quote from JugV2:
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too
embarrassed to say."
Like it./
Post 77
ahaha, nice jug.
Post 78
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your feet."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh! God, I'm coming!" "If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
Post 79
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: What has two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog.
Post 80
A couple go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner and order the "Chicken
Surprise".
The waiter brings the meal, served
in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.
He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes
looking around before it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is
happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter,
"I make big mistake and bring you Peeking Duck."
Post 81
Hehehehehehe i like that one :)
Post 82
3 Nuns were at church talking to eachother about what they had found in the Fathers room while cleaning up the previous day, and the first Nun turned to the other 2 and said, "Guess what i found in the fathers room while i was cleaning under his bead?" said the first nun, "What did you find?" said the other 2. "I found a porno magazine under his bed full of hot porn".
The second nun turned and said "Wow, for real? Well, guess what i found in the Fathers drawers when i was cleaning up? I found a Condom and i was disgusted so i cut little wholes into the end of it with scissors".
The third nun screamed, "Oh shit!"
Post 83
[Image: http://www.users.on.net/%7Erachow/files/All_daddy_wanted.jpg]
Post 84
hahah.. that's awesome
Post 85
A little boy and a little girl go trick or treating. They knock on
the door of this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two
are awful cute. Who are you supposed to be?"
"We're Jack and Jill" the girl replied.
The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!"
They go off and a while later they come back dressed differently.
They ring the door bell and once again and the man opens the door.
"Well now, that is just darn cute. Who are you this time?"
"We're Hansel and Gretel" says the little boy.
"Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel
because you're black!" says the man. Heads hung low, the kids leave.
Not too much later the man hears the bell ring again. This time when he
opens the door there stand the two children but this time they are BUCK
NAKED.
"Oh my! And just who are you supposed to be now?!" he asks.
"Chocolate M & M's," said the little girl. "I'm plain. He's got nuts.
Post 86
ROFL jug.
Thats awesome.
Post 87
A New Zealand man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should
try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they
are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep
himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they
are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take.
And so he loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to
the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and
goes to bed exhausted. Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still
just standing round.
"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep
are lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "but they're all in the Land Rover ready to go and one
of them is beeping the horn."
Post 88
Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration.
The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter America."
Mujibar said, "I am ready now sir for taking your testing."
The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."
The Officer said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and
works at Microsoft on the Help Desk.
Post 89
OMG Knight that's an awesome joke, and so true! Probably applies more to Telstra's helpdesk but still.
Post 90
A blonde and a brunette walk into a bar.
The Brunette ducks and narrowly misses getting a severe head injury.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a beer bottle
A. Nothing. They are both empty from the neck up.
Post 91
Some bored scientists reckon this is the best joke in the world.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
I have my doubts...but feel free to check what the scientists said for yourself.
http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0600uk/page.cfm?method=full&objectid=12251019
Those crazy scientists...what will they think of next?
Post 92
Quote from the above website link:
People from the Republic of Ireland, the UK, Australia and New Zealand most enjoyed jokes involving word plays.
One example was as follows. Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that!"
haha!
Post 93
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
Post 94
Gold. Except in real life, you never stop in mid-swing. :D
Post 95
Peeking duck. Heh good one
Post 96
One day a little boy asks his mom questions about God. He goes up to his mother and asks, "Well, son, he''''s a boy and a girl"
Not really know what to say the mother just says, "Well, son, he''''s black and white."
So he asks his mother, "Mom, is God black or white?"
Again not really knowing what to say, the mother tells her son, "Well ,son, he''''s black and white."
So the little boy looks at his mother as though he finally understands and says, "Ohhhh, I didn''''t know that God was Michael Jackson!"
Post 97
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs Smith cut in, embarrassed,
"I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat "
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,um..equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted............
Post 98
hhaha nice althow i thought this was a small joke area :D
Quote from Knight Of Nih:
post your silly little jokes
no big long story ones
urrmm GO
Post 99
hmm ur right; im sure it will be moderated soon then.:p
Post 100
That was a long joke, but a good one so i vote it stays :)
post more people